It’s cardboard, not depleted uranium. How the fuck is it so dangerous I must dispose of it if damaged? The entire point of the product is for the furry psychopath that lives with me to damage it. It literally has no other reason to exist.
The whole “discard if damaged” is likely just standard cover-your-ass legalese which the lawyers will copy-paste on every single product they sell, including this one.
It’s this.
Lawyers: put the warnings on everything. Managers: what warnings? Lawyers: the warnings. Managers: yeah but Lawyers: on everything.
WARNING: This product contains chemicals known to the state of California to cause cancer, birth defects, or other reproductive harm.
It’s like on medication when it says something along the lines of, do not take this medication if you are allergic to this medication or think you might be allergic to this medication.
Good now it’s your fault if you have an allergic reaction.
All subjects intending to handle high-energy gamma-leaking portal technology must be informed that they may be informed of applicable regulatory compliance issues. No further compliance information is required or will be provided—and you are an excellent test subject.
I would imagine this same label is applied to all of their products as a cost savings measure.
I remember a summer about 10 years ago, when I went out at the beginning of summer to buy some new pool noodles. I looked everywhere, and couldn’t find them, all summer.
The next year, they were back, but they all had new tags that said “Not to be inserted rectally.”
Suddenly, I knew why they hadn’t been available, as lawsuits and regulatory issues got worked out. All because someone looked at a pool noodle, and got a weird idea.
So you put it in your butt right?
Now we need a hero to test the sounding characteristics.
Yeah, I wondered if it actually gave some people the idea: “Hmmm, hadn’t thought of that, but now that you mention it…”
Or a friends butt. Get permission first though
Maybe after they permission, they convinced the friend to do ass to ass. Like that movie.
Requiem for a Dream, you mean that movie!
More like Rectum for a Dream…
Please don’t kick me out…
The Spanish is wack. That last line says to only use it for your favorite pet.
“Bad kitty! That’s for the superior cat!”
Gets damage, kid uses it as a stool, falls, parents decide to blame the company.
Pretty run of the mill situation tbh.
Clearly, you do not understand THE POWER of corrugated cardboard!
Darth Vader from Wish?
The dangers of corrugated cardboard are unknown to most, it’s good they’re trying to spread awereness
We should do a fun run to raise money for victims of corrugated cardboard abuse.
-in the arms of the angles plays-
the angles
I’ve always wanted to be held by a kind gentle right angle.
God I hate what the iPhone keyboard has become.
That Spanish translation is awful
Your favorite pet only 😂
Hey can you give a better Spanish translation? I’m a beginner at learning Spanish and was reading the Spanish version in the picture and going “oh I see, so this is how you say this.”
“No permita niños que juegen con o cerca de este articulo.” Is pretty jumbled up. “No permita que los niños jueguen con este artículo ni cerca de él.” would be more correct. The way it’s written is like “Don’t allow kids that play with or near this article”, and “juegen” is spelled incorrectly
“Este producto se diseña para un específico y un uso previsto” - “se diseña” makes it sound like it designed itself? It should be “está diseñado”. Also they’re missing something to go with “específico”, probably “propósito específico”/“specific purpose” as is it just reads “for a specific” which makes no sense.
“Esto no se piensa para el uso como paso.” Sounds like “This is not thought of for use as a step”, but step in this case meaning like a footstep (action) not a stair step (noun). It should be something more like “No está diseñado para ser usado como escalón”
Lastly “animal favorito”… It would mean exactly what it does in English. My favorite animal is the dolphin. Pet, however, should be “mascota”. And also why only the favorite? So if one of my cats is my favorite animal then I should only let my other cats play with it? Lol.
Disclaimer: not a native Spanish speaker, just a self taught learner of several years.
It reminds me of the time at work that we got a piece of industrial equipment. The manual clearly had been translated from Chinese into English via a Tibetan monk who would never heard either language.
It said things like “ensure when on that the fingers are not found” and “if loud kick immediately and call for help from empowering”. The best bit was the warning at the top that said “DO NOT DANGEROUS”, which was very helpful.
For some reason it also had a biohazard label on the box. It was a laser engraver. Where’s the biohazard?
“DO NOT DANGEROUS”
That’s pretty good life advice in general.
Thank you!!
Do not allow children who play with or near this object! Don’t fucking do it!
take this item but beware it comes with a terrible curse
Thank you, Mr needful.
It’s for cats to scratch. It’s supposed to be damaged.
Right?!
Choking hazard, next.
Maybe your cat is dumb, rips a chunk out, decides to eat it, cat could get sick or catch fire or something
If your pussy has a burning sensation, I highly doubt it was cardboard that did that.
“nom” 😼
“MEOW?!?” on fire🙀
sounds like liability cover
It makes it sound like some cursed item. Get the SCP on this.
Easily damaged paper product.
Is omnipotent,and can do anything unless it is slightly damaged. If attempting to use it while it is not pristine, will lead to a catastrophic cascade of calamity that may or may not result in false vacuum decay destroying everything from itself at the speed of light.
It’s because for the corpo, it’s cheaper to say it might hurt you than to not say anything at all.
My kayak has this warning on it. When everything warns you it causes cancer people no longer take the warnings seriously. Now where did my Cobalt 60 lollipop go.
I’ve seen this warning on a t-shirt. Not on the label of the t-shirt, the actual design of the t-shirt. Which presumably also constitutes a warning, I bet the lawyers love that one.
Drop and run
