I can fix her
I can’t, but I totally would date her just to wrestle with her. As a bonus, I am as fat as a manatee.
I don’t want to wrestle her but I’d like to get to know her and learn what makes her her. She sounds interesting.
There is nothing to fix. But maybe she could fix me.
In Florida, is an extremely serious crime to even touch a manatee.
I once saw a park ranger just screaming at a group of guys and threatening them with $5000 fines just for getting near one.
I told a friend of mine who surfs, and he didn’t realize they were so protected. He said there’s an old girl who comes to visit them when they surf, and she rolls over on her back so they can scritch her belly. I told him it was a $5000 fine, and he was bummed. He liked scritching his manatee friend.
Destroy their entire ecosystem is a ok though :(
Is that like a holdover Jim Crow thing?
The other perpetrator:
Listen, I get it, Manatees have no business wearing a bikini.
You take that back! Leave them damn sexy manatees alone.
You’ve been at sea too long, sailor.
Nope!! Say that’s a nice cockle you’ve got there, can I touch it?..
Ok, you may be correct!
Who was in the bikini?
Yes
First
In the criminal justice system, harassment of marine mammals is considered a Florida-tier offense. In Miami-Dade, the detectives who investigate these bizarre aquatic crimes are members of an elite squad known as the Meth-Adjacent Intervention Unit. These are their stories.
Dun-dun.
You mean the Meth-Induced Abnormal Mannerism Investigators?
Smoke meth in the city where the heat is on
Fight manatees on the beach 'til the break of dawn
Welcome to Miami
Bienvenidos a Miami
Why was the manatee in a park and why was it wearing a bikini. Lastly, was it a licensed wrestling match or unsanctioned?
wrestling licenses are a scam perpetuated by Big Wrestling! go out and wrestle someone today! nobody can stop you!
She just wanted her bikini back after the manatee stole it.
Her hips don’t lie! That’s shakira! You guys arrested shakira while she was doing her wrestling routine!
You might have noticed she’s not blonde.
Confirmed! You guys got shakira while she was having personal arguments with her favorite animal kingdom friend.
Just leave them alone. Its all about past manatee songs that never made it.
Actor studying for Zootopia 3.
Florida Man(atee).
*golf clap*
Is that the new STD spreading out from Mar-a-lago?
I feel there’s more to this story we’re missing here. …but damn, I’d wrestle her any day…
I just looked, it’s fake. I still stand by my song.
Manatees can’t wear bikinis, their nipples are in entirely the wrong place
Not with that attitude.
You just cracked into an obviously under-represented market. You could make millions.
What’s the crime?
Fighting an endangered animal? Swimming in probably boat lanes.
Come on guys.
I see you know your judo well!
choke me mommy
