They’re disempowering themselves. Describe themselves as a victim of circumstance, powerless and without responsibility. It’s a disempowering narrative. You’re shooting yourself in the foot. In this story that we live, you are casting yourself as an npc.

On the flip side, saying “I can’t” adds authority to your argument. You’re citing an unstoppable force as the root cause of your actions. So it’s a tradeoff that way.

  • i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca
    53·
    7 days ago

    I can’t stand Taylor Swift.

    I don’t like her music and it always annoys me.

    I won’t stand Taylor swift.

    I am now on several watch lists and my online orders are being heavily scrutinized.

  • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
    22·
    7 days ago

    I appreciate the optimism, but if “Anything is possible” I doubt a majority of people chose to be poor.

        • Maeve@kbin.earth
          41·
          7 days ago

          I can’t do that [because I respect myself too much]. Not everything needs to be said aloud.

        • linule@lemmy.world
          12·
          7 days ago

          Not sure what you mean. I’m just saying that everyone contributes to social situations (in varying degrees, of course). That is, to the group they’re part of. When you look at the language people use to describe the current political environment, for example, you notice that many feel that they live in a movie (“I hate this timeline”, “can we skip to the part where…”). That’s a pretty significant part of the cause, but it’s usually overlooked, because the responsibility is put only on the active participants.

      • orbitz@lemmy.ca
        3·
        7 days ago

        Mean there are more poor people so…sort of?

        Yes I know the social equallibriam of it all, but only the people can change it too. Never thought I’d see the US fall so quickly in my lifetime and hopefully people will realize that.

        I’m also Canadian so can’t do much else but post about it.

    • presoak@lazysoci.alOP
      317·
      7 days ago

      You and a lot of the people here. Ah the freedom of language. To avoid the point forever.

  • billbasher@lemmy.world
    15·
    7 days ago

    I can’t design a rocket ship implies I don’t know how. I won’t design a rocket ship implies I do know how but won’t because I’m too busy or am against the person likely morally. There’s a reason there are multiple words.

    I do agree though if you say like ‘I can’t eat this sandwich’ if you’re like full or vegan those are 2 different things

  • laranis@lemmy.zip
    2·
    5 days ago

    That’s why “I can’t even” was invented. That’s “I can but don’t care enough to give the energy to do it.” Which still blames the circumstance but cites a personal choice that it demands too much of the individual.

    • presoak@lazysoci.alOP
      21·
      5 days ago

      That’s a good idea there. It’s a higher evolution of the language. Thanks.

      Tangentially, most of the people here seem to take this post as a personal assault. And completely ignore the whole empowerment angle, which is the actual meat of it.

      People hate meat. People love to be assaulted. There’s irony there somewhere.

      • laranis@lemmy.zip
        2·
        5 days ago

        That’s why I love Lemmy. Here you have a higher chance of having nuanced and intelligent conversations with strangers than on any other social media. Written communication still has challenges with nuance and you’ll always have reactionary trolls, but far better odds here.

        That’s why when I see posts like, “How do we get more users on the Fediverse? Grow or die!” I tend to chime in to keep their goddamn hands off the last place on the internet where these kinds of genuine interactions with strangers can happen.

  • Goodman@discuss.tchncs.de
    4·
    6 days ago

    We wake up in our cells and dress in limitation

    To deprive ourselves of action and causation

    Can’t or won’t we see that we rob ourselves of agency?

    Why waste our will with can’t where we could won’t?

    So don’t say that you can’t.

    But do say that you won’t

    And I will know that you will will

    For where there’s a will, there’s a way

    And who knows where you may stray

    • squaresinger@lemmy.world
      2·
      6 days ago

      “The little one has been awake all night, can you please take her so that I can get an hour of sleep?” - “I’m good. Thanks”