• electric_nan@lemmy.ml
    57·
    11 天前

    I guy I know picked up an aussie chick at the bar. Later, she apparently told him “I’m on a bleeder mate. You’ll have to chuck it up me dumper.”

      • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.cafeEnglish
        3·
        10 天前

        We Americans have to put up with a lot of justifiable criticism about a lot of American things, but my English dudes, THIS? Even Americans know better.

        • brap@lemmy.world
          4·
          10 天前

          Ok so this is a shit photo, but seriously, go make it. Beans on toast is easy and brilliant.

            • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
              1·
              10 天前

              heinz beans? what? just make some godsdamn bbq beans. go look up a recipe. hell, just go look up pioneer woman’s doctored canned beans if you need lazy beans, those are pretty damn good too just full of sugar.

              • DamienGramatacus@lemmy.worldEnglish
                4·
                10 天前

                I certainly would encourage anyone to cook it they have the time but the point of beans on toast, is it’s quick and easy. And Heinz is the best choice though an own brand is usually fine.

                • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
                  1·
                  10 天前

                  no, your tastes differ from mine so we must fight on the internet i prefer bush’s beans. i don’t think i’ve given heinz beans a fair shake though so like my opinion is pretty uninformed,

                  i usually just throw my own recipe on the smoker. if i’m not doing straight up chili, i’ll cook some beans up most of the way smooth but not entirely smooth (the smoothest hummus of your life is 45 minutes in the electric pressure cooker. i do 20 with bbq beans), make some quick gravy (mix my favorite BBQ sauces with a few spices but not too many as the meat’s rub contributes a lot, come to think of it i usually just use extra rub and bbq sauce and a can of tomato sauce) then throw it all on the smoker in a disposable foil tin with some sauteed onions and peppers underneath the meat to catch all the drippin’s and the rub that comes off the meat with it. after 2-3 hours the beans are done, stir it once an hour maybe if you want, put another foil pan underneath to protect from burning, and let it sit in with the meat until it’s done. top it up with tomato sauce, water, broth, wine, beer, rum, whiskey, or bbq sauce (whatever floats your fancy) if the liquid runs low, taste it before serving and adjust the spices. it’ll take a few attempts to get your recipe to where you want it and to figure out which sauces and rubs and spices you want to use, but it’s worth the experimentation and you get to eat the results. also they keep forever in the fridge/freezer

          • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.cafeEnglish
            2·
            10 天前

            Beans are a staple side dish of BBQ, one of my very favorite foods, and it is often served with white bread, so we understand what it is. There’s just no reason to put the two together.

            Besides, I know that with that first bite, a generous glob of beans is going to drool down the front of my shirt, and piss me off.

            • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
              2·
              10 天前

              some foods need bibs (or eatin’ shirts) and that’s okay.

              i can’t remember what it was we were eating, but i smoked something good (it was our first time using cherry, and i was hungry). probably SLC ribs. i warned my wife she might want to move down the table a little bit because there was going to be a splash zone this meal (i had just dripped a big drop of food onto my lap, rolling all along my shirt, as was foretold by prophecy). her response was to dip her finger into her bbq sauce bowl and then flick it at me :3

              • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.cafeEnglish
                2·
                10 天前

                I have an unknown eating disorder, in which it seems impossible to eat anything without dripping it on my shirt. I suspect a lot of others have this disorder as well. It’s a secret American tragedy, hidden in shame.

                I actually keep a hand towel in my car (I’ve got dozens of them for my job) and I take it in when I’m eating at Chipotle or something. It embarrasses the shit out of my son, but I always point out that I’d rather look dumb for an hour in a restaurant, than have to look stupid everywhere I go, because I’m wearing my lunch on my shirt.

                When we finish, I always show him my “bib,” so I can demonstrate all the drips that would have been on my shirt. He thinks I’m pathetic, but that’s normal.

                • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
                  1·
                  10 天前

                  so i’ve had a “benign tremor” my entire life so i just wear patterns that make the spills hard to notice. hawaiian shirts, stuff like that. i have a couple shirts that repel water and food stains and shit. i have to leave for an appointment but i’ll get you the fabric blend.

                  one is 65 cotton 33 poly 3 spandex, two are 58 cotton 42 poly. if i spill food on these (and my family very literally has an urban legend about my mom eating a chili dog that has spread around the western US and part of el caribe, this is an heritable trait) it wipes right off, no stain. normally I’m a natural fibers, natural, breathable fabrics dude but when there’s a specific use case like yours (or mine i guess) it’s worth it to have a few microplastic-shedding shirts that keep us tidy.

            • brap@lemmy.world
              2·
              10 天前

              Knife and fork my dude. I tried it once and it was a fucking disaster. Beans everywhere.

    • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
      111·
      11 天前

      But have you ever actually eaten it? I’m going to say no because you wouldn’t be throwing shade otherwise.

      It looks exactly like most Indian food, brown goo is nice.

      • idunnololz@lemmy.world
        5·
        10 天前

        I have eaten it. I ordered it, ate it and I was like “idk what I was expecting” because it was literally just beans on toast.

        IMO it’s pretty mid but if you like it keep enjoying it.

            • BigBrownDog@lemmy.world
              1·
              10 天前

              I’m willing to try it. They did fish and chips right. I’m a white dude of mostly Scottish decent. It’s probably right up my alley.

              • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.cafeEnglish
                2·
                10 天前

                Fish and Chips is one of the great culinary masterpieces, and so perfectly, elegantly simple, like Italian Red Sauce. I’ll give the Brits full credit on that one.

              • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
                12·
                10 天前

                I’m a white dude of mostly Scottish decent

                Meaning your great-great-grandfather looked at Scotland at some point in his life. I will never understand the American intense desire to be something other than what they are. You’re American and that’s fine for the most part You’re not anything else. Culture is culture, if you don’t brought up in it you’re not part of it.

                • BigBrownDog@lemmy.world
                  2·
                  10 天前

                  You just used, “No true Scotsman…” in its original usage.

                  My parents took a DNA test and that’s what it said, so I didn’t mean to offend you.

                  I hope whatever is upsetting you so much passes, amigo. Chill out. No one cares.

    • jobbies@lemmy.zip
      71·
      11 天前

      Thats a poor representation but honestly its a fucking delicacy when done right.

      • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
        1·
        10 天前

        yeah. i want some beans on toast now. with a good strip of bacon on the side. and the good toast, not that shit potato bread whats been in the freezer. fuck me in the ribhole with a kneephallus i could really go for one of those good beans on toasts.

      • Matty Roses@lemmy.today
        11·
        10 天前

        England has shown itself completely incapable of self-governance.

        For its own good, it should be occupied by Ireland (for historic reasons) and Mexico (to stop their ongoing abuse of beans).

        • jobbies@lemmy.zip
          2·
          10 天前

          England has shown itself completely incapable of self-governance.

          I think even England would agree

          should be occupied by Ireland (for historic reasons)

          As a Scot and fellow Celt I say have at it.

          and Mexico (to stop their ongoing abuse of beans).

          I wasn’t aware Mexico were considered the authority on beans. But yeah fine. As long as I can still enjoy beans on toast I dont have a problem.

          • Matty Roses@lemmy.today
            1·
            9 天前

            Mijo, they will teach you that you don’t have to live like that - you can have beans so good they don’t need bread on them, or served in a tortilla with cheese and salsa.

    • FrChazzz@lemmus.orgEnglish
      5·
      11 天前

      Somewhere, many years back, I read that an alternative to British beans on toast is spaghetti-os on toast. I have no idea if this is true, but I have to say: it has always sounded delicious, but I’ve never bothered to try and make it.

  • Sundray@lemmus.orgEnglish
    19·
    11 天前

    I say, would you mind terribly if I asked you to deposit your vital essence deep inside one’s bung? I think it would be rather a lark!

  • Jo Miran@lemmy.ml
    11·
    11 天前

    Me voa tragar un par de pepas sin receta
    para durar toda la noche dandote por las guaretas!
    Yo se que tu quiere que yo coseche
    frijoles en salsa de leche.

    “Uiyi Guaye” – Calle 13

    Whomever can translate that slang riddle verse will appreciate the last sentence and how it relates to spunking deep in a bean loving arse.

    • Skullgrid@lemmy.world
      3·
      11 天前

      Oh I completely get the last two lines. not sure what pepas and guaretas are, but I can assume from context what the pepas are for innuendo. Also, I assume voa is something mumbled into an unrecognisable form.

      Also, you’re a man of many talents Jo, didn’t know you spoke spanish.

      spoiler

      I’m going to take some boner pills with no prescription
      So I can last all night giving it to you up to your guaretas
      I know that you want me to plant
      Beans in milk sauce (partially digested beans in cum)

      • Jo Miran@lemmy.ml
        5·
        11 天前

        Close.

        Tap for spoiler

        “Guaretas” is slang for buttcheeks and “pepas” is slang for pills, normally uppers but not necessarily. In this context, he does probably mean boner pills. “Cosechar” means harvest. So he’s going to pull beans out…in cum sauce.

        EDIT: I spent my tweens and teens in the carribean, between the USVI and PR. I understand it and can write it, but my speaking is very broken.

        • Skullgrid@lemmy.world
          3·
          11 天前

          Yeah, makes sense. I messed it up.

          in the carribean, between the USVI and PR. I understand it and can write it, but my speaking is very broken.

          Now… the broken speaking, is this because you don’t use it much, or because you’re speaking in a carribean accent? (says mr river plate with the pile of sh sounds and voseo)

          • Jo Miran@lemmy.ml
            4·
            11 天前

            Now… the broken speaking, is this because you don’t use it much, or because you’re speaking in a carribean accent?

            Both. I rarely speak in Spanish, but also, the “Spanish” I know is from the north east coast of Puerto Rico and mostly slang and heavily laden with african and taino words. For context, think Tego Calderon.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFPSmdbI_TM

            EDIT: I guess I should clarify that it’s the way I speak it. My reading comprehension is higher because I did read a lot in spanish and I still can.

    • Xabbit🐰@lemmy.zip
      1·
      10 天前

      you used two descriptors there (American and generic) can you tell us which of these is the bigger deal-breaker for you?

      • BaraCoded@literature.cafe
        1·
        10 天前

        American, certainly. They porn is so standardized and hegemonic, even a simple euro accent is refreshingly titillating

        • WhyDoYouThinkThat@lemmy.world
          2·
          9 天前

          I think you mean “their porn” and you realize there are 350 million Americans right? There are a lot of different accents

          Sorry I’m not too familiar with “American porn” lol but maybe your bias is based in ignorance rather than experience? It’s a big country and I’m sure there are actors out there you’ll like.

          Well, that’s all for now. Have a day.