Good evening, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, cock?
Our Gaylord.
Can’t decide if that’s David Mitchell or Benny Andersson.
Apparently it’s Robert Redford, a brief scene from this movie
Jerimiah Johnson
Pretty sure there’s a chin under that beard, so David Mitchell’s out. Must be Benny I guess!
do we gotta talk about it or do you want to just put it in my mouth?
I’m a straight cis het dude. I have never felt oppressed by gay homies. Like how hard is it just not give a fuck?
Like how hard is it just not give a fuck?
OMG you said how hard you are why do you want to fuck me you fag!?
I’m confused and horny. Only if you’re down though. Consent is King.
I’m also horny and confused and my DMs are consensually open
Respectfully watches
😉
😬 Confusion and consent are a tricky combination
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Jasmine was an awakening for me.
Same. And Jessica Rabbit. I wasn’t sure what was happening in my trousers but I knew I couldnt ask my mum.
Edit; couldnt, cause I did not ask my mum.
I asked your mum about what was happening in my trousers, too.
how hard is it just not give a fuck?
See, that’s why it’s so hard for homophobes to be around gay people. They want to give a fuck, but they can’t handle their own social stigma so they want it outlawed to remove the temptation.
Real.
Excuse me sir, are you familiar with cock?
Quite thoroughly, yes
fist bump
You had me at “fist”
Yes, but do come in.
“omg rainbows, how awful!” - jerks with zero self awareness who are oh so mad that other human beings being celebrated
i don’t care for sports but i don’t get crazy upset they’re shoved down my throat at every turn because that’s someone else’s fun
I do. My city’s downtown center is being shut down during Mrs. Noodle’s next chemo appointment because FIFA. Fuck that. Fuck sports. Fuck off with your stupid fucking balls.
I’m so sorry, I’m very thankful that’s not here
With you 100%.
Every four fucking years I have to hear non stop about how we won it once and this year it’s “coming home”.
Fuck all the way off. Seriously, just pick a direction and fuck off. Keep fucking off until you get to a fence with a sign that says: “You cannot fuck off past this point.”.Right there, I want you to dream the impossible dream, climb that fence, and fuck off into the sunset, further than anyone has ever fucked off before.
What about, every single football match? Every single one. People go out into the streets with their cars, honking and screaming while waving flags in the evenings whenever an even slightly major match happens. It’s all you hear for the next week or two. Some take it a step further and start shooting guns around! Its also quite great for politicians because whenever a major controversy happens another fucking match happens and everyone forgets about everything. Fuck sports. Fuck your fun. Its fine if you’re a dipshit sportsbrained maniac, just dont do it in front of me.
I have straight aura, and I 've been in a lot of queer spaces where people think i was the token straight, no one never tried to convert me.
But that one time the charity i was working for found a partnership with a local catholic church, suddenly i have to explain over and over why i don’t need religion in my life.
Ask them about all of the lawsuits involving priests.
I have a cynical scientific aura from before 2000 that thinks talking about auras is fucking stupid. I hope it’s contagious, or that every time you say “aura” unironically a fly finds its way in your mouth.
The majority of our thinking is subconscious and sometimes we use metaphors to explain how it communicates to our conscious.
Negative auramaxxing
Has a gay person ever knocked on your door to convert you?
No, but I imagine it would make a whole lot of Republican secret wishes come true.
Had a group of Christians approach me while i was looking at nail polish in an Ulta. Even after i said no thank you as politely as an angel they still insisted on letting me now their imaginary friend loved me. If anyone in the lgbt+ community acted like that in public Christians would call it grooming.
Hell, can you imagine if Muslims did that?
In the US it would be taken badly but let’s pretend Muslims don’t have a pushy religion as well
Well not Christians in general but a specific sect is known for doing this.
Mormons, JW. I get shit in my mailbox from random churches at least twice a week. I see way more SuperJesus shirts and sweatshirts and hoodies out in public than anything with rainbows on it.
It’s mostly virtue signaling anyway, making sure that everyone knows which group they’re in and if you’re not in, you’re out.
They have a persecution fetish. Not complex, fetish.
knock knock knock
Hello, have you heard about our lord and savious Luigi Magione?
It’s all just engagement bait.
Even responding to them boosts the bigot. It’s what they want.
“Dont feed the trolls” doesn’t seem to be registering anymore, though. People simply cannot help themselves and jump in, and the platforms are juicing it instead of moderating it because it’s so (at least in the short term) profitable.
You ever notice that the people who talk about “shoving guy shit down mycthroat” are usually te most racist and misogynistic ones? The whole thing is because theyre afraid of being treated like they treat women and other minorities.
Nah, its just classic repression through homophobia. The concept of things being shoved down their throats secretly titilates them.
Maybe the temptation they feel is the gays knocking from inside and that’s why they’re mad
Would a gay person knock on the back door to try and convert you?
I hope he would
I have a hose hooked up at the front of the house for the next time the Mormons show up with specific details about my family.
But id make cookies if ever a mini pride parade visited my doorstep.I wish more folks used the word: dipshit. It’s in my daily vocabulary, but I rarely hear it from anyone else.
I’ll do my best, dipshit. ☺️🫶🏻
Thank you, dipshit
Dipshit? Did you call moi a dipshit?
Now who’s the dipshit, you jock douchebag?
I’m more partial to assclown, myself.
You have UNO you dipshit, it came free with your fucking XBOX!
