• spicy pancake@lemmy.zip
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    18 hours ago

    “partner gets WAY more into the kink than the one who initially proposed it” is funny in pretty much every configuration lmao

  • St.Elsewhere@threads.net@sh.itjust.works
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    17 hours ago

    I don’t get race play. I’ve been with people of other races and never even began to consider race play. I have to wonder how someone finds it sexy to consider race. Is it related to dom/sub, but expanded to all of society?

    • cattywampus@lemmy.world
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      8 hours ago

      Tell humans something is naughty or bad and some will find a thrill in it regardless of what it is. Also it’s a power exchange which is a very common dynamic humans enjoy in and outside the bedroom.

    • spicy pancake@lemmy.zip
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      8 hours ago

      most taboo subject kinks revolve heavily around the fact that it just is taboo, and the actual taboo itself is more of a flavor (at least in healthy use cases)

      I’m a part time professional dominatrix and have had two clients whose sessions involved race play. One where it was the main thing, and the other just part of it. For both of them I could tell they were deriving pleasure from the power exchange aspect, and the race thing was just the specific form it took for them

      It makes sense that for a majority of people, it’s going to be completely unsexy and seem strange and incomprehensible. If it weren’t, it wouldn’t be a kink

    • A_Wild_Alt_Appears@fedinsfw.app
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      13 hours ago

      Much of kink is people playing with the things that feel heavy to them in ways that push their buttons.

      Race and the dynamics around it are a heavy thing that we internalize as part of our social conditioning, and for some people they have a desire to play with it.

      Personally I have no interest, and its important for people to remember that the heavy things they like to play with are difficult subjects and to treat them with care (often people do not adequately engage with why raceplay is so heavy, and then engage with others in a shitty way as a result. At which point it is not play, just racism). But as long as folks treat the subject with the appropriate respect and sensitivity until they’ve negotiated a dynamic and then stay within what’s negotiated I see it as being similar to all the other ways folks like to play with the things that are heavy to them. Like consentual nonconsent, where people roleplay nonconsentual sex, or forced feminization as a way of playing with the harmful way men are measured against a metric of masculinity and punished for failing by comparing them to women as degradation.

      But then, I’m white, so folks actually impacted by the heaviness of the subject may feel differently, and its important to listen to people actually impacted by something. In the kink community in my area it crops up as a point of contention periodically.

      • Avicenna@programming.dev
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        9 hours ago

        I think you are reading too much into it, in many cases it probably is a “different looks interesting” kind of situation. In some cases, especially when it has become a fetish, yea might be a deeper psychological aspect.

    • Zozano@aussie.zone
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      12 hours ago

      One observation I’ve made is that the people most obsessed with BBC type content: white men.

      I can’t say for certain, but it feels like some kind of victim complex type shit.

      It’s like they consider White / Asian women who have sex with black men to be “dirtier”.

      • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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        9 hours ago

        I (white woman) was chatting with a black man on a dating app some years back. Everything was going well until he started talking about my skin and how excited it made him. I tried to direct the conversation elsewhere, but he kept going back to the topic. It gave me the ick and it quickly became clear that’s the main thing he liked about me. That’s when I stopped talking to him.

        I think it’s cool to be physical with someone with a different color skin - it’s interesting, but it’s a small detail in the grand scheme of things. If you’re more interested in someone’s color than in who they are as a person, that’s taking it too far. Maybe some people are down for being fetishized, but I’m not into that.

        But with that said, you’re probably right - I don’t doubt white men do it more often, I just wouldn’t be the target of it and thus don’t see it as much. I feel for my sisters of color. I only had the one experience (so far), but I imagine they’ve dealt with it much more frequently. It sucks when you think you’re meeting someone cool and it turns out they can’t see beyond the most superficial of your features.

      • formation@sh.itjust.works
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        10 hours ago

        Nah its just straight up white power move to enjoy BBC

        What im saying its inherently racist, like using the term BULL they’re being objectified for their race. I dont think its right.

        • Zozano@aussie.zone
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          9 hours ago

          I don’t see how its a white “power” move.

          They’re being cucked, because they feel the women are race traitors or something.

    • falcunculus@jlai.lu
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      14 hours ago

      Sexual relations are the continuation of normal relations, making sexuality a mirror reflecting society. Findom reflects class relations, D/S reflects gender relations, SM reflects christianity, race play reflects racism, etc.

      • CackNClap@infosec.pub
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        14 hours ago

        SM reflects Christianity? Maybe for some I guess but I’m sure people from all religious backgrounds and none enjoy S&M.

        • falcunculus@jlai.lu
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          5 hours ago

          Sure, this is a gross oversimplification, and SM is very wide; but the impact of two thousand years of Christianity really is very significant to the western psyche, even among the non-christian.

          Things like being bad and deserving punishment or suffering leading to ascension are so close to christian concepts (sinning and hell, the passion of Christ) that it would be surprising for them not to be connected.

          And there’s also christian influences in sexuality outside of SM obviously. Stuff like Temptation Island on TV, or just sex being “dirty” in general (as in, engaging in sex lowers one’s moral worth).

        • formation@sh.itjust.works
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          10 hours ago

          I keep on ending up like this unironically when the relationship starts off closer to 50/50 slowly 60/40 70/30 then they lose their job then its 100/0 forever even when they gain their job back.

    • Fleur_@aussie.zone
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      16 hours ago

      How’s it any different from play involving any other physical attribute?

      • St.Elsewhere@threads.net@sh.itjust.works
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        16 hours ago

        I can find size, masculinity, feet, smell, whatever sexy because of power dynamics or stimulation. I don’t understand stimulation from race, but power dynamics maybe? But that’s stretching my perspective. Do you engage in race play and are you willing to elucidate me?

        • Fleur_@aussie.zone
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          3 hours ago

          I don’t engage in raceplay to the extent I think would qualify as a kink but whenever my skin tone is brought up I respond in the same way that I do as any other physical feature of mine is brought up.

          Seeing all the other replies talking about how others experience raceplay as an extension of the social and cultural context they live in is really surprising to me; that this gets left at the bedroom door. A comment on the colour of my skin has a similar effect on me as a comment on the colour of my eyes. When a partner finds that aspect of me particularly enticing I don’t find it weird, racist or an engagement in some sort of power dynamic. Its just an easy out to make sex more enjoyable for both of us. Same as if someone was super into any other part of me. Damn right I’d leverage that innate sexual desire.

  • chloroken@lemmy.ml
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    7 hours ago

    Pure white supremacist, gooner, racist fantasy. Literally felt icky reading it.