Sit the fuck down.
Its good to make sitting the default, especially in a hurry, but another option available to non-catholics is to gently flex and stretch the hose to prevent sides of the urethra from being stuck together.
Just a quick rotational movement.
Do Catholics pee differently than everyone else?
That was a joke about how they’re not allowed to touch themselves.
Mine got chopped off 9 years ago.
Well inverted and made into a vagina, but the former is how most people seem to think it works.
Do not miss the penis
With great power comes great responsibility. The ability to control comes with the burden of having to exert that control
jelqd too hard
wait until this guy sits down to pee without paying attention to how things are hanging and feels it running down his calves
ask me how I know
how do you know?
I’ve sat down to relieve myself in the middle of the night while sick and half asleep and felt a strong warmth down the back of my legs because I pissed on myself through the gap under the toilet seat
I ain’t afraid to admit it
ive done that a lot too. absolutely infuriating 😂
Doing bottom surgery entirely to pee consistently
Yup, been there. Not fun.
It gets hard sometimes… 😞
Love the morning pee boner, where it seems like your dick is trying to ruin the start of your day
Bros jerking too much and he isn’t cleaning his tip.
or, y’know, you could sit down. saves on cleaning even when you fail at handling your dick.
You apparently have no idea the dick’s talent for aiming for the crack between the seat and rim, no matter how you go about “tucking” it downwards to try to prevent just that. Even sitting, leaning so far forward your hands are on the floor, is no guarantee.
I’m glad to learn that mine lacks that talent. I never even knew that was a thing.
I agree that this can happen, but at least its pretty rare. Standing while peeing however makes a mess in a radius around the toilet every time. I mean, when you live alone and have no guests ever then this might not be an issue, but in every other case it’s pretty nasty.
Back when I could consistently roll my foreskin back, aiming from standing was the cleaner option. I have no idea what animals you’ve lived with that couldn’t get their pee in the bowl consistently, but I’m sorry, I guess?
I’m a man, and i tell you that even if you aim perfectly with rolled back foreskin, the splashback when the stream hits the ceramic creates a radius around the bowl where small droplets land. Either someone else cleaned the floors back then when your foreskin was youthful, or noone cleaned them.
There are plenty of spots to aim other than the water, most of which will disperse the spray and splash down and towards the center of the bowl. The Swedes literally carved a fake fly in one spot in particular on urinals to make it clear, but regular toilet bowls are actually more forgiving.
Maybe your boyish masculinity demanded you ignore such things while standing as tall as you could and forcibly emptying your bladder as hard and fast as possible, but such inadequacy does not make you a man, nor does leaving the mess for others to clean-up. A man-child maybe, but definitely not a mature one.
Bend-at-the knees and let the flow do its thing without treating your prostate and abs like they owe you money. Your “torrent” requires neither extreme focus-and-effort, nor an assist from gravity.
Sure from your description, one of us should NEVER have been standing to pee, nor go around calling themselves a “Man” even today. Surprisingly, its not me.
Use a hand to bend it down.
If he chops it off he’ll have to sit down anyway, so yeah…
So there’s this really cool trick:
-
Face AWAY from the toilet with the heels of your feet close to the base.
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Un-button/tie/velcro/zip the whole waistband (not just the fly) such that you can-
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Lower your entire pants to the floor.
Now this part can be a bit tricky and does take some practice to keep your balance but
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Bend your knees down into a squat while leaning ever so slightly backwards (you can put a hand on a nearby solid object such as the sink or a wall to steady yourself. They also make raised seats with handles on either side if you need help with this).
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Situate your buttocks firmly on the seat.
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Separate your thighs such that you can
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Point your penis down between your legs towards the toilet bowl.
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Proceed to urinate.
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Hygiene is the same as peeing using other techniques.
This technique is all but foolproof; it is almost impossible to miss the toilet bowl.
Hope this helps!
DO NOT FUCK UP STEP 7
Don’t kink shame
No kink shaming. Simply put, “Under the seat” is NOT equivalent to “towards the bowel”. If you get off on the gamble then flow free my friend.
Sitting can be very difficult first thing in the morning sometimes. Well, not the sitting part but the getting your dick to point down into the bowl part.
On those days you lie down on the toilet in a planking position, penis pointing down into the toilet
Some mornings, after you sit, you need to bend over until your forehead is on your feet.
I prefer to put my hands on the floor and lift my feet up against the wall.
Well step 1 should be: Beat that meat into submission
1+1=2
2+2=4
4+4=8
8+8=16
16+16=32
32+32=64
64+64=128
128+128=256
256+256=512
512+512=1024
1024+1024=2048
2048+204… submission (if not, sing this, with the same voice ☞ https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=NfnTKUkCafo
You forgot the most important step:
- Wash your roommates hairy ass grease off the seat.
Usually why I stand.
You’re either a woman or have a small pee pee and never had your pee pee touch the inside of the toilet bowl when you try to stick it into the tiny gap between your groin and the toilet basin.
I’d rather pee in split streams than rub my precious dick on the inside of a toilet bowl.
How do you poop? Do you hold your dick up?
Where do you put your ass when you poop? I sit on the toilet seat, and also rest my pee pee on the toilet seat in front of me
But then, wouldn’t it flop tothe floor? It makes no sense!
I’m a woman with a rather huhh large penis to put it bluntly. This has never been an issue ever. Siting down to pee unless you are some insane 10" 3 legged freak shouldn’t be an issue.
Maybe more difficult if you are stiff. But common it doesn’t kill you to push it down into the bowl even if it touches a little.
Neither my ass nor my dick are particularly large, but my dick still touches the front of the bowl if I don’t hold it back the entire time I’m sitting. So that’s what I do. A little cumbersome to only have one hand for pulling, ripping and folding the toilet paper, but not really an issue.
I still stand when I pee, though.
-
I just piss into a wet vac
Hard to miss when it sucks the pee out
how is space?
I’ll pee sitting down sometimes in my own home but peeing sitting down with a penis in a public restroom is gross. Regardless of whether your dick aims at the water or the side of the bowl that’s a lot of fine spray of toilet microbiota landing on your junk and undercarriage. Better to just piss everywhere all over the seat and stay pure
Anon needs to add “pee” between the fapping and sleeping in his bedtime routine, and the leftover spunk won’t be around to do that.
Piss after jacking off, anon.
You’re supposed to pull the foreskin before pissing. Otherwise you’re just asking for it.
Check the meatus for lint. Somehow, there’s always fucking lint!
