I need more fiber in my diet :\
Be careful with that shit, it’s powerful magic.
Nah, go hog wild on it. Eat an entire box of high fiber cereal and then go do naked jumping jacks.
Two to four words: sugarfree gummibears
Fiber regulates, sugar free… lets things free.
Boss makes a dollar,
I make a dime.
12 seconds to shit?
Not near enough time.
Either you learn how to shit in 12 seconds, or AI will take shitting away from you. Sorry, that analology got away from me at the end.
I wonder if they’ll try to get away with bathroom cameras using AI because it’s not a person watching you
They don’t have Wi-Fi
yeah, pooping would be way faster if they had wifi
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Don’t you dare tell my boss that. Don’t take my time away from me!!
I make a nickel Boss makes a dime I go poo poo On the company’s time
Tonight’s news, Amazon limit on bathroom break for 12 seconds based on this study.
Look, it’s not a race, okay?
But if it were, I lost.
if it were, I lost.
Same. Intentionally. I need some me time sometimes.
It’s survival on the plains. You didn’t loose the race, you got eaten by a lion
Given my numbers, the median must be like 0.12 seconds. If your legs aren’t asleep by the time you finish, did you even poop?
are you another of us 20 year poopers or are you one of us half second poopers
I always told my teachers that I’m way above average but they never believed me…
VINDICATION!!
Poop any% speedrun?
speedruns
Tell that to Ron from Accounting
Is it longer if there is a dog staring at them the whole time?
My name is Constipation Georg and I live in a cave and take 12 hours to poop per day and I am an outlier and should not be counted in the averaged data
My name is Low Sleep Stress Coffee Cream Cheese Shit Hubert, and I live in a cave, and take 12 seconds to poop and 11 hours 59 minutes 48 seconds to wipe per working day and I am an outlier and should not be counted in the averaged data.
My name is Diarrhea Vaclav and i live in a cave. I eat nothing but haribo candles. I take half a second to poop but the next wave starts immediately so if i move from the toilet, i leave a slime trail. I spend 23 hours, 17 minutes a day pooping (the remaining 43 minutes are Vaclav’s time) and don’t know when it began or ended anymore. My only hope for relief is that i am counted as an outlier and released from the study.
TIL I am an extreme outlier.
Today I learned that I am well above average.
When everything is working as it should, it doesn’t take me much longer. That’s a rare day, though.
I can do half by having dragon fruit last night. I swear that thing is an artifect of poop god.
It does have a lot of fiber but you also might be allergic to it.
https://open.substack.com/pub/naturespharmacy/p/does-yellow-dragon-fruit-cause-diarrhea
