First time green text EVER had me laughing! Ever.
fake: anon has a girlfriend gay: anon dislikes women so he pretends to ‘prank’ them
fake: anon has a girlfriend
gay: uhhhh oh no is this real
1 mile
take the bus
This is a complete fiction, right?
I actually did this at my US college.
I could take the bus which went 1 mile in 5 min which stopped outside my student apt complex.
Or I could walk for 45min along sidewalks around a couple city blocks and effectively walk like 4 miles to go one mile because there was no direct walking path through the residential neighborhood between my apartment and my college.
I wish I was lying
I don’t know why everyone’s going on about weather. 1 mile is a 20 minute walk. A bus can do it in 5. That’s huge time savings regardless of the weather.
Fiction or American.
You think people take the bus in America?
Well they certainly don’t walk
Not really. I used to take a bus every day to get to the metro station for a distance of only 1.5 km (0.93 mi). But to be fair it’s because I was always on a tight schedule.
When I was 330 lbs. (150kg) it would take me 30 minutes to walk a mile, and I would be post-exercise dumb for at least 30 more. You don’t want to the post-exercise dumb for class (taking or teaching).
Now (225 lbs. [~102kg]), it would still take me about 15 minutes to walk it, tho at that pace my HR wouldn’t significantly increase, and I might decide to take the bus instead, if there’s any sort of weather.
For everyone, I’d like to point out that the bones on this man were the same size, carrying 150kg vs carrying 100kg. They would continue to be the same size at 70 or 60kg.
Imagine, the next time you wonder how fat people have poor health outcomes: the same 10 square centimeters of bone in the legs could be carrying 40, 50, or a full 100 kg of weight. Or worse, the cross section of cartilage between the bones. Or worse. More weight than that.
Yeah, I’m still obese. I almost got down to overweight, I was within 3kg, but… I’ve had/been some setbacks. By height + BMI, I should be targeting 165lbs. / 75kg, but I’m still finding it impossible to stick to a diet that provides a calorie deficit. (I have in the past, but don’t seem to now.)
My physical health is better by basically any metric. I encourage anyone that is overweight to lose it.
How do you know they are a man?
My profile indirectly discloses that. I don’t think it matters much for the story, but I am a cis white male.
Thanks. Yes I get it. I am projecting too much of my own experience here.
??? Free college buses around campus in the winter time is dope what’s the problem
Free bus and constant buses arriving? Why not.
Does it feel better if you say it’s a shuttle instead?
Eh, 1 mile is pretty far when carrying a heavy backpack. If it’s free, I’d take the bus.
Wtf kind of school are you going to if you have a heavy packback? Unless you are taking welding equipment to school or something you really don’t need much at all. School backpacks are usually pretty small.
Ever heard of textbooks? They tend to be quite heavy in my experience.
Sure its more than a few sheets of paper but a textbook is nothing compared to tent, sleeping bag, stove, fuel, water, food. Which is perfectly normal stuff that someone can pack into a bag and walk over 10 miles with.
Pfft. When I was young, I had to walk to TWO schools while carrying TWO heavy backpacks. The bus wasn’t free because buses were still feral vehicles that tried to kill us on our way to school.
Did you also have to walk up hill both ways?
In the snow?
with no shoes?
Colleges love to flex their local bus service. Especially if it’s a big campus in the north.
I mean depends on the weather and how much time you have. I have a shop I go to regularly about 5-10 minutes walking distance away. Some days I just don’t feel like walking and take the bus. If she had to go there more than once per week I can completely understand some days just not feeling like it.
Yeah fair enough really. Again I don’t know what’s going in everyone’s life so I shouldn’t judge.
But really everyone’s a weakling these days, except me of course. I’m very tough (I drive a cybertruck)
I took the bus for those distances several times when in college.
I’ve known people who have taken the subway/metro to get between classes on the same campus, so this is still plausible
1 mile take the bus
This is a complete fiction, right?
Wait. Hear me out.
Chilly snowy winter campuses, especially in the frozen North where it gets chilly and snowy, will often be nigh impassable after they close down the underground tunnels – which they invariably do permanently as soon as there’s any report of crime down there - and then it’s either walking in your moon boots across the couldn’t-afford-to-clear snowy campus pathways in 2ft of snow, or take a bus from one collection point to another and cut down on the trudging.
I dunno how OOP rode his bike, though, unless it wasn’t snowy and kids are used to the shuttle service (me, I’d speed-walk across campus a few times a day. I was in great shape!) .
Just, small bus routes can be crazy-valuable if they avoid risk. That’s all.
Its a greentext, so yeah.
maybe she had a tight timetable idk
Wait, we’re discussing the wrong thing entirely.
This woman took the bus for a one mile hike while she was in college? Like, in her twenties she looked at the prospect of walking for just over a kilometer and a half, a distance you can apparently cover by bike faster than by bus, and she went “nah, I need mechanical help for that”.
This happened in the US, didn’t it?
Wall-E is the future.
Do you take the escalator, or do you walk up the stairs ?
What a weakling you are for choosing the escalator.
Edit :
It seems that the irony got lost : most people just take the escalator for a mere 50 steps, just as most people would just take the bus if it’s convenient. So all people in this thread shaming her are quite ridiculous.
As for me, I take the stairs instead of the elevator daily (5th floor) and wouldn’t get on the bus because I have strong social anxiety.
Walk because its clear and I can get up it faster than waiting for the morons on the escalator that don’t know how to use steps. Also I often have a bike with me and its easier to just lift that and walk up the stairs.
I walk up the escalator.
Or, if it’s so busy that you can’t comfortably do that I take the stairs.
I also take the stairs instead of the elevator at home because it’s only a handful of floors and man, I am already old, decaying and extremely out of shape. My knees would fuse solid otherwise.
Oooo ByGorou u got f’d uuuup!!
No, but unseriously, why shame people for being complacent? Maybe semi-seriously; like, 35% seriously, at best.
Edit: And maybe more seriously but still mostly casually uncaring, you never know what lives other people leave. Also, a campus shuttle is actually amazing if you think about it. Personally, I’d rather be able to do a nice busride to class, but I’m well aware that I can’t waste valuable sleep time with that. And, risk being stinky around other people? No thanks. Also, having to deal with upkeep, storage, and security of a bike? Blegh. It would be cool though to live in a culture that both had the bikes and infrastructure, and didn’t have the thievery.
Also, you gotta remember, a lot of the US is very far apart and is so imbued with car culture and infrastructure. Plus, we, like the rest of humans, just can’t deal with our problems, and just had another major
setbackexistential challenge.That was meant to be ironic but it got lost it seems ;-;
What I meant was that, If you see stairs next to the escalator, most people just take the escalator. Same as if a bus is going where you are going to, most just take it without thinking.
I wanted to show that shaming her for taking the bus was ridiculous, just as shaming people taking the escalator instead of the stairs was ridiculous.
Man, since you want me at 35% serious I’ll come clean and say that when I poked at Americans I genuinely didn’t think the response would be “greentext isn’t real and she didn’t exist but also she is my cousin and I know for a fact she was disabled and she NEEDS that bus”. I don’t know if I should own the trolling and not acknowledge that the only part of it that worked was the splash zone and not the direct impact.
But also, the OP explicitly says the distance was one mile. I know the US is big, but I didn’t realize it was big because universal expansion had made one mile larger than it is elsewhere. I guess that explains a lot.
It also explains a lot that “a bike chain” is “upkeep, storage and security” and that a ten minute walk is wasted sleep time that makes you stinky.
Alright, alright, let me get back to being somewhat real for a second. I’ve been to the US a bunch and I don’t have a driver’s license, so I walk everywhere and it’s genuinely shocking to me both how poor walking infrastructure is, but also to what degree Americans consider anything not directly next door to be “not walking distance”. I get that it’s cultural, but it’s also deceptively soul crushing. I refuse to leave the house unless it’s on fire and I still find spending time in many areas of the US physically distressing. And Canada, too, don’t think that having competent health care and a few extra busses means it’s different over there.
Escalators really aren’t that common where I live. The architecture is mainly regular stairs and then there’s a lift somewhere nearby for disabled people.
A few malls built in the late 90’s/early 00’s tried emulating the American escalator mall look but it didn’t really take off.
My university was literally all uphill from dorms with traffic and 90 degree heat. You took the fucking bus.
Lemmy: Cars are a plague and shouldn’t exist, communities need functional public transit
Also Lemmy: Someone used public transit when they could have walked? Pathetic.
Both can be true. I love public transport, but I wouldn’t take the bus for 1.5 km. I’d walk or, at most, take my bike.
Yes, also if it’s a little rainy outside.
You might take the bus on the many make days a year there’s a heat advisory to stay indoors In my state (USA). Plus often when it rains here, it’s not a little rainy. It goes from sunny to pouring in 15 minutes, torrential downpour for 20 minutes and right back to sunny. Pretty unpredictable. But mostly I don’t think it’s nuts to take the bus to class when there’s time pressure and then walk home when there’s not.
What if you’re carrying a heavy backpack and the bus stop is right next to your class?
Don’t even bother, gatekeepers gonna gatekeep
What does gatekeeping even mean at this point lmao
How heavy are you talking about? Pretty sure that, here in Denmark at least, there are rules to giving a back-breaking amount of books and homework to carry.
If it’s not back-break… walk.
Idk, a laptop, lunch, and 2-3 textbooks?
You’re expecting Americans to rawdog their life?
I’m sure the physically disabled students at that college appreciate you letting them know that you think one mile is too short for a bus ride
Are we counting obesity as one of those disabilities?
To be clear, this did not happen at all
Oh, you go around telling kids about the tooth fairy, too? Get in the spirit.
How about you get in the spirit of doing your chemistry homework instead of posting on lemmy
Oh, man, the last time I had some of that was in 1997. I’d trade you posting on Lemmy for another go at that.
In 1997. Screw being a teenager in the 21st century.
Screw existing in the 21st century
Fair point. But hey, at least I have less of it to go and better social security.
Oh man, would I love to take back my MLL knowledge and build an AI to farm bitcoins for me.
And also somehow anon was a gay man.
It could have. Greentext doesn’t have to be fake either
Right in theory that could possibly happen
But it’s 4chan Greentexts let’s be honest hahaha
Fwiw as far as the reasonableness of taking a bus 1 mile, that’s 16 minutes at a brisk walk. Less at a very fast walk. Depending on traffic, number of stops, etc., a bus could take about 10 minutes to go the same distance, probably less. So you’re definitely saving time, even if it’s not a huge amount. You’re also saving effort and sweat, depending on how fast you go and the weather.
When I was in uni, I would regularly walk the 1.2 km to campus. But I would catch a bus the 1.8 km (remembering that a mile is 1.6) to the shops. Because it’s a hot unshaded route with a significant uphill. Plus I had to carry the shopping. Whereas the walk to uni was flat, shady, and I rarely had to carry more than just a laptop. And also there literally wasn’t a bus that could take me.
So yeah, depending on how all the specifics fit together, I don’t see anything wrong with taking a bus 1.6 km.
In the Netherlands, students get free public transport. If there’s a bus coming that you can use for free, why not?
For 1~2 km? No.
I went to college in Breda (HIO at Hogeschool Breda, later known as Avans Hogeschool).
If I were to take the bus from the train station to the school building, I’d have been late to class too often.
I walked to class, those 2km from the station to the school at the Lovendijkstraat. Only when it rained did I take the bus and accepted the fact I’d be marked tardy.
I mean 1 mile is still a 20 min walk or so. A bus can cover it in a couple of minutes and you won’t be exhausted, especially if carrying a heavy bag of books, it’s uphill, it’s raining, it’s snowing, it’s exceptionally hot, there are no sidewalks, you have to detour significantly to cross a body of water, highway, or other hazard, you have a mobility impairment, or you just don’t want to waste 40 minutes of your day walking when you could jump on a bus and spend that time doing other things. Now if it’s a choice of waiting for a bus that only comes every 20-30 min and walking, sure.
I think you’re misunderstanding the idea here: I have a bus pass, but will often walk rather than wait for a bus if the distance is rather short. However, if I’m about to walk somewhere, and see a bus pull up that’s headed where I’m going, I’ll often just hop on-hop off to get where I’m going faster.
Yeah, that’s exactly what I mean. If I pass a busstop and I see that the bus will be there in a few seconds, I’ll take the bus. I roughly know the busschedules around where I work (there’s no bus where I live), so I usually know if a bus is coming by looking at the clock.
Even 2km in the rain ain’t that bad. It is also less hassle to walk than get an OV fiets for those 2km.
I didn’t know about OV fietsen when I went to college (1999~2005) 😄
But it depends on the type of rain. Torrential rain is horrible, but thankfully pretty rare.
It could be cold, windy, or really hot out. Or she doesn’t want to walk a mile with all her school stuff, or she doesn’t have great mobility. Also there are plenty of 30+ people going to college
It could also just be made up, maybe stop looking to get outraged
American infrastructure is so heavily skewed against pedestrians in pretty much every city that isn’t NYC. While large college campuses tend to be more pedestrian friendly, it still isn’t great. And since most Americans aren’t walking a mile everyday, when you then couple that with a backpack with materials needed for two different college classes like textbooks, laptop and charger, or notebooks and pens, it can be difficult for some ti walk that distance for whatever reason.
I don’t know why people are still surprised that the country designed to punish people who are too poor to afford a car has so little pedestrian and cycling.
Yeah DAE amerikkka bad!?
It is bad yeah
Lots of universities have free busses that you can just walk on, no pass or anything needed that loop around campus. They’re so frequent and convenient that using them is often just the routine, even if it’s not literally faster. It’s easy to get into the habit of waiting for the bus on cold days, and you keep it in the summer.
This thread is giving me tons of excuses to take the bus for a ten minute walk and not a lot of spirited strutting.
I’ll check my chauvinism, though, from the dialectalism alone, there’s clearly plenty of lazy young people to go around worldwide.
I honestly don’t know what point you meant to make but with the tone, all I personally took from this was “get off my lawn, you damn foreign brats”
A bus that’s convenient in the US? What are you smoking?
Fair point.
I could regularly beat city buses on 3-5 mile rides in the city. They have to stop all over the place and the routes between places are never direct.
But this greentext is probably made up anyway.
I beat it consistently on my 10 mile commute. In fact, on a crappy weather day (lots of snow), I barely missed the bus, so I caught up and rode it the rest of the way.
Buses aren’t fast, but they are warm and dry. It takes ~20 min to get from the stop near my house and the transfer I’d take to work, which was ~6 miles (~10 km). That’s ~18mph (~30km/h), which is doable on a bike. My whole commute took about 40min, 30 on a good wind day. Taking the bus with a transfer took about 45 min.
Aside from most greentexts being fabricated stories, how long do you think they have between classes to get moved around on campus?
My Pepsi Co connective tissues are mostly plastic. It’s not a durable plastic :(
i also lived a mile from my uni and took the bus sometimes, in my defence, the uni was on a steep ass hill and i lived at the bottom of it
Sounds like public transportation
I war of the worlds’d my partner once. It’s the sort of thing you do once, realize just how fucked up your actions were, and learn never to do it again, or a yearly tradition if you’re with precisely the right person.
Created like 2 years of emotional dependence from that. Really stagnated our personal evolutions. Truly a terrible joke. I regret it weekly.
What did you do exactly, if you don’t mind us asking?
NO
It’s replicable and I know one of you will consider trying it despite the flashing warning signs. I’d rather not instigate others into betraying the trust of those closest to them. When I said that I regret it weekly, I was entirely sincere.
You’re no fun.
Completely fair, thanks!
Honestly, that’s fair. I’m not the type that would do it, but I’ve known enough that would that I think it’s the responsible thing of you to probably keep that information to yourself.
But I do have questions, and if you’re not comfortable answering public, I swear to God, I will not share the information online or in any capacity in which in might be used for harm if you were to DM me an answer. Lol. I don’t think the answers could be used like that, anyway.
Does the person you did this to now know the full truth of the situation?
Was the hoax religious in nature?
Was it political (for instance, a terror attack, election result, or other “big ticket” news worthy type of thing?
If it caused a lasting impact on the victim, was that impact purely a loss of trust with you/others in involved, or did it cause like lasting issues in their perception of reality? (As in, do they still believe this, or partially believe it, even if they have been informed of the truth?)
Are you still with/close to/associated with the victim?
Was there physical harm caused?
And finally, what was your motivation to do it in the first place?
Totally get it if you don’t want to answer any or all of these… But you did open the door, so I assume you’re comfortable talking about aspects of it, so long as the information given doesn’t make it replicatible, and I feel my curiosity is very understandable. Lol
I won’t go into specifics about the hoax, but everything else is fine. At the time, I was one of their few friends, which inadvertently made me the one to comfort them and abuse them.
I thought it would be entertaining to put my burgeoning skills on display, but disconnecting a person from reality and then re-anchoring them to it causes far more psychological harm than 20s me could have understood. Your anchor cannot unmoor itself without forcing you to travel a ways and I didn’t even consider the proverbial currents.
I told them immediately after, but that compelled a unique sort of emotional dependence and power dynamic that I hated then and that haunts my days and nights now. I became both abuser and soother. It was like flipping the switch to “battered housewife.”
We’re still together, and significantly better for one another after counseling. Neither of us were harmed physically. Just years of potential development wasted.
You what
Faked a narrative so convincingly that the partner really thought something (i guess) terrible has happened.
You know, like when War fo the Worlds was aired for the first time, people really thought aliens had attacked the US.
Aaahhhhh… and I thought you turned into a 20 meter high mechanical spider abducting people and razing buildings. I thought yea, this guy went too far
I was all for it until he started razing the orphanages.
The first was funny. The fifth felt like he was pushing impropriety a little far.
I was all for it until he started razing the orphanages.
I turn orphanages into work houses for children.
It did get kinda funny again at the sixth one, but the seventh ruined it.
Fun fact: that never actually happened. It was just a fun little goof some papers ran with and spread for shits and gigs to play along. No one thought it was real.
In actuality, it was a weekly radio program that always told fiction stories and it was on its regular broadcast time, only had a 2% listener audience across the US, there were commercial breaks that mentioned the show, and no one believed it was real. No histaria, no people killing themselves, no end of the world vibes.
Neat
bummer
I thought he literally remade war of the worlds-esque radio news reports to trick her into believing an invasion was imminent
That would be impressive.
Op should tell her asap. Op caused this and if op truly cares about the situation they should take responsibility and the blame.
Worser cases reality 1: The panic attack was unrelated and Op is a stone cold bastard for not asking/showing empathy about it.
Worser cases reality 2: Gf thinks there was someone else and she had cheated with on accident, these panic attacks keep occurring as its settles as a deep trust issues complex.
Best case reality: Op tells her straight to the point and offers a sincere apology. Gf forgives op, and the relationship is strengthened in the long term.
Mixed reality: Gf is furious and dumps Op on the spot. They both dodged a red flag and were simply not compatible in finding eachothers boundaries. You don’t pull jokes like that on a single whim, it’s clearly part of their nature.
This is a green text and probably fake btw.
This is […] probably fake btw.
YOU SAY SIKE RIGHT NOW GODDAMMIT
Are you the kind of person who thinks pranks are inappropriate too? I would not apologize for this and I would not respect someone who apologizes for this. It’s funny, it’s over, it makes a good story, and it builds character.
Pranks are only funny when everybody is laughing.
As someone who has experienced psychotic episodes in the past, this “prank” would really fuck me up in a really unfunny way.
We don’t know much about the gf, but we know that she supposedly had a panic attack over it, and that’s not funny.
I’d find it funny only if I was told within a couple minutes (before having a panic attack, contacting my psychiatrist, and making arrangements for a potential inpatient stay), and I would absolutely dump a partner who’d refuse to apologize for this.
You honestly wouldn’t apologize to your partner after your ‘prank’ gave them a panic attack?
Not at all, i just respect that people have personal boundaries and its ok to not be compatible with everyone.
Personally i would love this prank. But i also dis experience one where my headphones disappeared and reappeared in my Locker where i would never put them. I am autistic and mentally just spiraled till my best friend came clear.
Sounds like really good boyfriend material, as usual. Instead of being grateful that someone found their wretched existence worthy of love (or whatever that was).
I used to race the bus to work and I’d usually win. It’s hard over any significant distance.
Good on you OP. Keep on peddling.
