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Invite Clark Kent to an interview with a Senior General in a small village in the Nevada desert. Clark arrives to an empty village full of plastic mannequins. The whole village disappears in a flash of light.
Clark arrives back to the CIA office the next day with excuses that he couldn’t make it to the interview.
That’s so easy that my favourite archeology professor could do it.
Just need a refrigerator!
I’m sure the CIA wouldn’t be that surprised at being unable to kill someone.
Not after 634 failures against Fidel Castro
At some point it must have become a hazing ritual. New CIA recruits had to have been goaded into attempting to assassinate him on super short notice, as a joke.
“We purposely trained him wrong… as a joke.”
I’d watch that movie
Confirmed: Fidel Castro is Super Hombre.
dude is going to have the heaviest shits later.
that toilet is gonna look like this when he’s done spraying lead out his well toned kryptonian ass.
i imagine kryptonians drop logs dense like nibblonians’ pebbles. which are also so dense they only require wiping/bideting when for example supes is sick.
so like, he probably uses a lead bowl and a portal to the Phantom zone to take care of his deuces.
he probably uses a lead bowl and a portal to the Phantom zone to take care of his deuces.
imagining all the criminals in the phantom zone getting shredded by a lifetime of super poop is hilarious.
Viva la dirt league needs to be sent this idea. Poste haste!
Good thing he’s wearing one of his Kryptonian shirts today.
Nope, all patrons were given mandarin robes to wear, the bulletproof kind, just in case
Does anyone know a good Moo Goo Poo recipe?
i would watch that movie
If M Night Shyamalan directed this, it would be a Superman reveal at the end with a cheesy one-liner.
“why won’t you die?” “because I believe in truth, justice and the American way”
<Fin.>
If my night shamalamalan directed it would be really good for like the first 40% and then everything after a certain point would feel incredibly paint-by-numbers
yeah he does pretty great in establishing fictional universes, not so much in telling the stories in them.
M. Night Worldbuilder
Has anyone ever seen M. Night and Sanderson in the same room?
I suffer a similar problem, in that I can’t tell written stories well (I rely too much on auditory pacing and gestures. I also can’t world build for shit, so y’all have got that going for you at least.
[nerd alert] There was a Superman comic where someone alerts Clark Kent to a Luthor scheme and Superman shows up to wipe it out. The source confronts Kent, enraged that he took the easy way out. She wanted Kent to write the story and bring it to the world’s attention, not have Superman make the problem disappear
The s stands for shithead
Change it to the IDF and it’s Clark reporting on Gaza.
The IDF would nuke all of Metropolis, Kent Clark would walk out unscathed and they’d call him anti-semitic.
… Did you see the new Superman movie?
No, I haven’t enjoyed superhero movies in like almost 2 decades, the genre lost it’s heart and soul for me mostly due to the MCU empire.
It’s not an assassination but the new Superman opens with the consequences of him stopping an invasion of definitely-not-Palestine by the definitely-not-Israelis
I did hear a small bit about that, good on Gunn.
There was a Superman: The Animated Series episode where someone put a bomb in Clark Kent’s car (or something like that) and it went off and the episode dealt with him having to come up with a plausible explanation for how he survived.
The Late Mr. Kent. One of the best episodes of the series. He finds evidence that a death row inmate is innocent, gets, “assassinated,” by the real killer (which also destroys the evidence), and has to find a new way to clear the man/catch the real killer while also seeing how the people close to him deal with his, “death.” And, boy, that ending.
“Bar- I mean The Flash saved me just in the nick of time!”
“I guess they call it a fugue state? I don’t really remember what happened.”
Make it a Hallmark Christmas movie!
Clark goes back to his rural childhood farm town for the holidays. Holly, a big city CIA assassin on her first assignment, comes to town under the guise of being a photographer there for their big Christmas festival. Holly struggles to find opportunities to kill this enemy of the state, between the charity work Clark’s does for the festival and the seemingly persistent attention he revcieves from his highschool sweetheart, Lana (who looks remarkably similar to Holly in build, complexion and hair color) and her daughter Sarah. So she stages a honey trap to lure him to his demise. With each failed assassination attempt she finds herself falling victim to her own trap and she finds herself falling in love with him. Eventually Holly breaks down and confesses that she’s actually there to commit an illegal murder for the government but can’t because her newfound love for Clark has made her rethink her career path of state sanctioned murdering people for money. She runs off into the snow, tears running down her face. At the festival Clark is delivering fresh pies to the charity fund raiser booth when he hears the news. Holly’s car was pulled from a frozen lake with a body inside. While damage from the wreck makes identification difficult, they are certain it Holly is dead. A forlorn and heartbroken Clark feels lost but then the crowd parts and he sees Holly! They rush into each other’s arms. “How?” Clark asks. “I couldn’t just leave, they would come after me. The only way out was to fake my death.” Holly answers between kisses. “Then who was that in your car?” “Don’t worry about it”, she says as they kiss. Credits roll as Sarah wonders the crowd searching for her missing mother.
You can’t leave us hanging like that! What happened to Lana, you monster!? What did you do to her!?
inspired by the well documented assassination attemps on Fidel Castro
now available digitally for reading
Something like Clouseau vs the world’s assassins from the pink panther strikes again.
Damn it now I want to see this too lol
Along these lines, I really want a batman movie where he’s not the star, but a monster in the background hunting the protagonist.
Do a “The Joker” where it’s the joker in all but name, just call it “The Journalist”
Does Clark Leave the country a lot? Figured he was a more domestic journalist based on absolutely nothing atall
he’s a sports journalist! it’s Louis Lane the CIA would try to take down. Clark Kent keeps his journalistic ambitions low so no one pays too much mind. he then feeds scoops to Louis and Jimmy Olsen
Good ol’ Louey!
🤦
