@Mattr I was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Awesome!
Neo-nazis kicked down my front door when I was around 19-20.
The underage sister of a friend was being trafficked by them and managed to escape. They came looking. Lucky for us, they showed up expecting, at most, a couple emo kids, but we just happened have a few guys over that were training for mma that night, which means they got the ever-living-fuck beat out of them and never came looking again. One of the mma guys punched a tooth out of one of their heads, got it gold plated and keeps it on a necklace now lol
It does sound like something I wouldn’t believe. But it’s just too badass, I’ll believe you
I swear its all true, but just to make it a little harder to believe for ya; 3 of the 4 mma guys (mr.necklace was the only one to stay cool as all hell) went on to join a cult led by a 70+yo man claiming he was Jesus who lived in a school bus that he’d renovated into a trailer house. They ended up cooking meth for him some years later and that’s the last I’ve heard about the lot.
The first part of your story sounded a little far-fetched. But the second part adds context to which I say, “yup, sounds like a bunch of meth-head Nazis and MMA fighters.”
That actually makes it more believable somehow.
I’m not American, but is this Florida? Sounds like a Florida thing
East Texas, which, in many ways, is the Florida of Texas. Depends on the specific area for sure (it is a very large area after all), but interactions like this pretty often go on without any kind of police intervention. Lots of personality (in a more positive sense) near the cities, but a very strange area in many ways, full of real, real strange folks the further into the hill country you get. Their BBQ can’t be beat tho. Comes with the ‘…huh’ of it all, I like to think.
Is the sister ok???
She hasn’t gotten caught up with any nazis since then afaik, but “ok” isn’t how I’d put it, unfortunately. I’d rather not get more specific than that. Sorry.
understood.
How every Neo-Nazi should be handled.
I love this.
That kid that kept the gold tooth on a necklace was me.
😮
Was driving down the road with my wife and came to a stop light. We both witnessed a lone potato rolling down the street through the intersection at a pretty good clip. We both looked at each other, making sure we were seeing what we were seeing and busted out laughing.
I have absolutely no clue where it came from, and to this day remains one of the most random things I’ve seen and NOONE ever believes me when I mention it.
You’re really tempting me to roll potatoes down roads…
…but also if I caused a wreck I’d feel really bad.
The fact that you stopped first makes it hilarious, i think. The thought of it made me laugh out loud.
Pulling up to a stoplight and then seeing a potato when and where you’d expect traffic is way funnier than just seeing a potato unexpectedly.
Where it came from? Isn’t a better question who is it going to see and how did it learn traffic patterns?
I was riding my moose one day, when we almost got ran over by some dude in a ship
A Møøse once bit my sister…
Mynd yøu, møøse bites kan be pretti nasti
I was a boat riding a moose, and I almost hit a guy once!
Story time?
Back when I was 17, I had a neighbor pull a gun right to my forehead. I shoved him away and said, in essence, “yeah, fuck you with your BB gun, I have some shopping to do”. He shot another neighbor in the gut not long after. I avoided death by dumbfounding him in a way that sound like it comes right out a daydreaming teenage fantasy.
Glad you’re OK. But also wtf is wrong with this neighbor and I hope they’re doing time?
He had been arrested by the time I came back with my grocery bags. He was the “get out of my lawn” kind of guy, who could pick a fight for the most benign reason. Last I heard of him was when his nephew emptied his house some years later. He’d been placed in a psychiatric ward.
😱
I almost ran over a moose with a ship
I know someone who did. The police did NOT believe them. But eventually they where convinced to show up at the road close to the lake, as they didn’t actually have a code for “hitting wild life with boat”.
I woke up one morning and found a skinned moose in my yard.
RFK Jr. dumped it there
And thus the cycle has been completed
OMG!
Much better than waking up naked next to it. Not that I’d know what that’s like. Nope.
I once waited in line at a costume shop while two guys argued about whether getting hit by a ship voided the “no fault” deposit warranty on a moose costume.
Somehow that story of yours rings a distant bell…
I was the victim of a drive-by ketchupping.
Were you able to mustard the courage to go after them?
Mayonnaise was gone before I even had time to react!
I had someone do a driveby breadding.
Walking down the street and some wanker throws a loaf of bread at me from his car as he drive past. The whole loaf, plastic bag an all.
Nah, you just won the mobile food pantry lottery. Congrats! The jackpot is crab legs.
Went to an orgy and didn’t have sex with anyone, on purpose. I did, however, play naked baby oil handcuff twister. Which was hilarious and painful.
The internet never fails to make me feel vanilla AF.
Statistically… there’s always going to be someone invited to orgies
Mathematically… there has to be more than 2 or 3 people invited to orgies
I always like to play “Whorer Hoedown” on Halloween.
it’s a game where I watch the adults walking down my street on Halloween and see if I can guess which ones are going to the swinger orgies before they get there.
I’m pretty good tbh.
Naked baby oil handcuff twister actually sounds really super fun
I don’t see how that’s hard to believe.
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I’ve had 7 car-deer collisions.
Deer hate you and are trying to kill you.
Deer are just rats with plenty of room to grow.
Santa?
I was only in one, but the deer hit us.
Dad was driving, I was in the passenger seat. Suddenly there was a deer head in front of me coming from the right and there was a thump and we stopped. Deer had run off, but there was a big dent behind the front wheel well in front of the door where the deer t-boned the car.
I’ve avoided a ton of deer in the road in front of me encounters by stopping or slowing enough for them to bolt. Were your’s just bad visibility conditions or in a large vehicle like a semi or tow truck where not stopping or swerving is safer?
I believe you.
I was driving along these narrow backcountry roads once, the ones with little drainage ditches on either side of the road. It’s dark out A deer comes bounding across the road in front of me. Knowing that deer travel in packs, I stopped.
Some asshole fucker in a lifted truck or SUV, speeding toward me way over the speed limit on these tiny backcountry roads, did not stop. Another deer ran across the road and the truck/SUV hit the deer and catapulted it right into my car, then kept speeding off into the night. My car was mostly totalled, as in it (extremely unhappily) managed to limp me home at about 3 miles an hour, screaming the entire way. [It was a back road and I was afraid of another asshole coming along and driving right into my car before a tow truck could possibly get to me. And there was no place on the side of the road where I could safely wait for a tow truck.]
All my friends were like, “Oh no, did you get the plate number of the guy?” And I’m like, “Initially they were too far away, then their headlights were blinding me - and how they missed seeing the deers with those lights is beyond me. And by the time they were close enough for me to see a plate, there was a deer in the way.” Then they’re like, “Did you call your insurance company?” And I’m like, “Why in the world would I do that? What world do you live in? My car is 16 years old, they’d give me $500 and then raise my premiums a thousand dollars a year for the next decade.”
I hope that fucker in the truck/SUV wrecks their next five cars in ditches and bogs and gets stuck in snowbanks in the middle of winter for the next decade. Fucker.
I also had a deer hit me! It totally ran at the side of the truck, bounced off and then kept going back off the road. Was very weird.
Deer aren’t very smart. I had one walk straight into the side of my car when I was stopped at a stop sign once. This didn’t do any apparent damage to either the deer or the car. Just, thump. When I mention this to other people around the area they inevitably have a similar story of a deer doing basically the same thing.
I don’t think evolution is working quite fast enough to be doing these dummies any favors just yet.
Deer bolting and flailing around is a survival mechanism that makes them dangerous and hard for predators like wolves to catch. When they do it in enclosed spaces or around cars it seems weird, but it is just instinct kicking in.
I believe that. Around here everybody’s hit at least one.
I once exploded one. I was going pretty fast down a hill and the poor bastard stepped right out in front of my 1984 Grand Marquis.
When I say exploded, I mean EXPLODED. I had to hit the windshield wipers because all I could see was blood and grass.
He only knocked a chunk out of my plastic grill, and I only saw a few chunks of him at the location of impact.
Poor thing
I saw a guy dressed as a moose carrying another guy who looked stoned get almost run over by a ship.
Dropping acid at the furry convention…
When I was 10, I went on a trip to Venezuela. At this restaurant in Caracas, I went into the bathroom. It was a single person bathroom. For some reason the door had slide locks on both sides. While I was in there, some kid locked the door from the outside (I could see through a narrow gap). It was a real door, not a stall door. I couldn’t unlock it. I started panicking a little and kicking the door. Eventually a waiter let me out.
I’m still confused about why that door could be locked on the outside.
I heard about a Chinese Tourist couple going to somewhete in Southeast Asia (I think I was like Cambodia or Thailand, can’t quite remember), and in a restaurant the woman went to the bathroom while the husband (or boyfriend? forgot the details) waited, then a long time came by and he went to check and she wasn’t there, and there was another door in the bathroom, like a door within the bathroom that leads to a backdoor out of the restaurant or something, basically, someone entered through the other door (which doesn’t go through the main restaurant) and just kidnapped her. Local law enforcement couldn’t find her, and their embassy couldn’t do much.
She was found at a circus in I think the same country like 2 or 3 year later, very close to the restaurant they were at, and she no longer recognizes her husband, or any relatives for that matter, like she got brainwashed / memory lost or something.
That story was creepy as hell, no idea if it was true or some heresay shit. But I’m not surprised, tourists get kidnapped all the time.
Edit: Also, because of this story, my mom got afraid of certain bathrooms lol. Like we went to some national/state park in the US, and there are public bathrooms, and my mom (she told me the aforementioned story btw) saw some other door inside the bathroom (I think its for maintaince workers where they store cleaning tools something) and she got scared and was deciding if we should go somewhere else for bathroom, but ultimate decided to just use the bathroom and left the door unlocked while my dad waited outside. Nothing happened. But while we were leaving, some dude walked by and she got scared lol.
That sounds like a racist story made up to stoke fear.
I like your story, but what part of it nobody believe ?
I got a moose one hunting season and decided to butcher it myself. Finished skinning the thing (took hours) and it just disappeared, no clue where it ended up.
RFK Jr’s car.
Omg I like how everyone is just doing collaborative fiction writing on here, like SCP: Lemmy Edition or something.
Lol wtf? The skin walker totally fucking played you, bro.
Wait, you skinned it for hours but it wasn’t dead, and just walked off? Or it was dead and some animal took it while you weren’t looking?
I’m not sure who believes and who doesn’t, but I’ve been in more than 30 car collisions. I’m not sure exactly how many because I’ve lost track.
One was an offset head-on collision. I think the other driver fell asleep. He claimed I came into his lane and hit him, but the impact shattered the windshield washer fluid in my car, and destroyed the front-right tire. The impact left a puddle of fluid in the middle of my lane, and the rim of the front right wheel left grooves in the street leading from where my car stopped back to the point of impact.
I was sideswiped three times. All three were hit and runs. One of them was caught on my dash cam and I got my deductible back. The other two got away.
All the rest were rear-end collisions. It happened so many times that I started to think I must be doing something wrong, but I couldn’t figure out what. Around that time I happened to look in the rear view mirror just before the impact to see the driver looking down at something on the passenger seat beside him.
Since then, I’ve understandably become very aware of what the drivers behind me are doing.
The last two times:
In late 2021 I was approaching an intersection and had a green light, but on the other side of the intersection was a school bus letting out kids. I stopped, and the jeep behind me hit me at full speed. My truck was totaled. I was knocked very briefly unconscious, but I was able to control the truck as I was pushed through the intersection and stopped.
Ironically, I had been thinking about trading in my truck for a new model. That day, on the drive home before the collision, I decided I wanted to keep it.
At the time, getting a replacement took months. I was getting to and from work driving the Civic that we bought for the kids to use. Two months after the truck was totaled I was in slow, stop-and-go traffic. Every time I had to stop, the car behind me would pull all the way up to within inches of my bumper. I wanted to scream at him. Of course, the person behind him hit him, and pushed him into me.
Luckily, that time it was slow, low speed impact. Easy damage to fix.
For the love of all that’s holy, follow at a safe distance! Three seconds minimum between you and the car in front of you. And when you stop, stop far enough back to see where the tires on the car in front of you touch the street.
If you want to slipstream (aka, drafting), become a race car driver.
Whenever you see a driver following too closely or driving erratically try to get away from them, change lanes, let them pass, whatever. Also try not to drive next to other cars. Stagger positions so if they have to serve into your lane they won’t hit you. Last tip is don’t drive in people’s blind spot when they are in the next lane. Pull ahead of them or let them get in front of you
I learned in New Jersey: driver following too close? Foot off the gas. You do not put it back on until they have angrily passed you and sped off into the night.
30? Insurance must be a nightmare
I haven’t had my rates increase noticeably for any of the accidents.
Whewwwww… not doubt you’ve become hyper aware now. Where I live, a big proportion of drivers do not understand minimum distance. They will keep one meter behind you even as you drive 70+. There are few things in life that get me as irate as this.
Mood. My city is usually bumper with people squeezing up against each other so people can’t get in. The only way to get around is too not participate. Use a bike if you can
Well, not 30 for me, but I’ve been rear ended driving ~5 times. Not even sudden stop issues or anything, like, literally sitting at a stop light and the next person just doesn’t stop and hits me.
One time was waiting for a train and a dude in a huge SUV slammed into me. They tried to offer me $200 cash to not report it to insurance, I said fuck off. Ended up being like a $12,000 repair and they literally said, “fuck you” on the phone to me with the insurance agents on the line.
