Its funny but yes we want a functioning Democracy to defend other democracies.
Exactly! It’s a pretty radical concept these days, I know.
It reminds me of an old Polish joke:
A Pole finds a magic lamp, strokes it, and a genie comes out.
“I will grant you three wishes. They can be anything your heart desire.”
"I wish for the Mongols to invade Poland!’
“Ok? It is done”
The Mongol hordes sweep through Poland, ransack the country, then go back the way they came.
“I am ready for my second wish. I want the Mongols to invade Poland again!”
“Are you sure? I can give you anything your heart wishes.”
“Yes. I am sure”
The Mongols come again, do some more pillaging, and return home.
“And now for my third wish. I want the Mongol hordes to invade Poland a third time.”
“Are you really sure?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Before I grant you your wish, would you mind explaining me why you would want that not once but thrice?”
“It’s very simple: Whenever the Mongols come to Poland they have to cross Russia twice!”
The US really is just this hateful polish guy. A solid 35% of americans would happily raze our own country than let one poor person have a subsidized lunch.
This is so funny. I just told my wife, who’s Ukrainian, this joke and she burst out laughing.
Also, as Canadians. We wish there were mongol hordes we could get to invade us, through the US.Mongols. Mongols would need to cross both Russia and US.
Well afaik the last in date were your country :p
I can understand your hesitancy, but the position of “Threat to Global Peace and the World Order” has already been taken. We do have an opening for “Bastion of the Free World” and we encourage you to apply. All things considered, you would be a great fit for the role.
It might work this time!
I know its a joke but just to note: I’d love to see Germany “march through Poland” given the poor state of Germany’s armed forces. As it is rn, Poland alone could most likely reach Russia’s heart in a couple of weeks of conventional warfare and debilitate Russian critical infrastructure long before that. Barring nukes of course, which is basically all the Kremlin would have to hang on to in a full out direct confrontation given just how incompetent their armed forces have proven to be.
I’ll have you know that we are perfectly capable to march through allied territory… as long as they have well developed infrastructure
…which complicates marching through Germany
True
Amazing trains you got in Germany :p
The trains are great, everything else around them not so much
That just means we need to give Poland nukes
And now trump is using Putin’s hiring/promotions practices - yay!
Wait, did people start doing parkour outside windows without previous training again?
Ahh polandball. I missed these
These always remind me that I’m a dumb American.
We can stand to be roasted more then a little bit.
That may help us with our fat problem. I hear heat renders fat into liquid grease…
You hear? You have to experience it. Roasting isn’t just good for meat, it’s great for a lot of veggies… and arrogant assholes too!
It kind of reminds me of Terminator 2; where its essentially the exact same story is T1 except this time the previous bad guy is the good guy.
Alternative you could go by boat, but I’d advice is to travel by land because I expect Poland will join you. (or it’s just I’m hoping they will)
Germany starts world war 3
The rest of the world: “how do we keep falling for this?”
“Ww3 this time we’re the good guys!” Smaller print “We’ve double checked and had it put in writing.”
The only requirement to be a good guy is to win.
Everyone loves a good heel-face turn though
First John Cena then Germany
John Cena would be the US in this example. Sudden unexpected face-heel turn
Is this Jon Stewart’s account?
Tbf Poland would be joining them this time around.
They’re allowed to take out one German tank with light cavalry, for old time’s sake.
You know…as the battlefield becomes ever more automated, there might be a very brief window where the winged hussars could make a comeback.
Let’s say you have a battlefield riddled with smart drones. They have image recognition and immediately attack anything resembling a tank or other military asset. Do you think anyone bothered to program the drones to seek out and attack a unit outfit like 18th century Polish cavalry? A charge on horseback just might be able to ride completely undisturbed through the right kind of drone-controlled battlefield.
Ukranian drones are already equipped to target the latest Russian logistic vehicles, donkeys.
THEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED
COMING DOWN THEY TURNED THE TIDE
You could submit this plan to !noncredibledefense@sh.itjust.works
I didn’t know this existed and you just made my life
They would be programmed to kill anything that moved just to be sure they get everything. They will be deployed like mine fields except the owners could disable them to move through the drone field.
Do you want your drones to burn through their numbers attacking deer and birds? That’s what happens if you set them to attack anything.
I can see the Onion headline: High-Tech Warfare not as simple as military genius on the internet thought
Indeed, never provision your killbots with a pre-set kill limit. There’s a well-known strategy to deal with that.
The moment they are activated they’ll just blow each other up. Could be fun to watch.
Okay well I’m just going to air blast gravel at them then.
Or you could just get a big block of lead and mount it on a remote controlled chassis and just drive it around. At 6 mi an hour.
Last time Russia and Germany invaded Poland together. Presumably this would be Germany and Poland invading Russia.
Does that mean in 100 years it’ll be Russia’s turn to team up with Poland against Germany? Is that how this works now? Can’t we just rock-paper-scissors best 2 of 3 instead?
They did last time too, just not quite as voluntarily
I am ok if Europe wants to send troops to Canada to defend against the real enemy—the United States.
As an American I fully support this. We don’t want to invade Canada either. Just the Orange Idiot and his bootlickers.
I was going to joke “I’ll send y’all intel,” but now I’m seriously considering if my country will use that statement against me some day.
I am joking NSA/DOGE, of course.
I don’t want intel, AMD is better imo.
Too late the van is already on its way
*Occupied States
If it comes to it, there won’t be a conventional battle. We will take them out from within.
In the wise words of the Arrogant Worms, “We’ll take a boat to Washingtooooooon! And burn the White House twice!”
USA = U Stand Alone.
As an American, I stand for this. You’ll never see me fight any country besides the enemy within the US.
Pls do, our army wouldn’t last more than a day against the US
I’ll come to defend the indiginous people from Canadians stealing and polluting their land.
Ukrainians: “the Germans are here to liberate us from the Russian yoke. And they actually mean it this time!”
Same nazis as they were
This would be much more concerning if they hadn’t so thoroughly stamped out fascism. What’s the alternative for Germany?
Fascism is back on the rise there, unfortunately.
I thought my little AfD reference at the end would give me away.
I thought it was clear
I can’t tell if that’s a lucky coincidence or a reference, but the Alternative for Germany (AfD) are the biggest voices in support of fascism in Germany, and they just won 20% of the seats in parliament. Luckily, even the CXU won’t form a coalition with them yet, so they will hopefully not have much impact on things.
Ironically, the AfD doesn’t want to militarize against Russia (but don’t be too reassured, they do want to reinstate mandatory conscription and militarize generally, just not against daddy Putin)
AfD is a nazi party. With tied to Blood and Honor, Proud Boys, constantly yelling nazi quotes, nazi saluting in private and small meetings, copying their rethoric and imagin aso
Not totally. Fascism did take over 20% of the vote in last month’s election.
The alternative is to not build a giant army and use the money in something more useful that will benefit germans and humanity
And whenever Russia wants some land it’s just handed over?
Only if you believe the government and a bunch of corrupted politicians who never fought a war will save you.
Germany was never fully denazified. There’s a reason the New Left in Germany was so militant. Kiesinger was in the Nazi Party!
Yeah the Schreibtischnazis and industrial-nazis never got punished. And not to speak of east germany who employed SS and Gestapo members in their StaSi
Thoroughly?
Supporting companies? … <cough>
Poland has been pouring everything into their military, they are VERY ready for this to all go sideways. I can’t blame them.
If it were up to me i would have only 3 conditions to allow poland go wild towards vladivostok
- Please have a winged hursar blow a horn to signal the attack (would be cool)
- Invite germany and france to tag along
- Dont take Königsberg for yourself but you may kick out the russians there <3
Their next cavalry charge towards enemy tanks is almost ready!
Can we call humans riding other humans or donkeys cavalry?
Like a fetish thing?
Good.
Let’s make sure to start the campaign in autumn so we are deep inside Russia during the coldest parts of winter. Let’s also make sure to only take light summer clothing.
That sort of idea seems great when everyone is taking Pervitin all the time.
Pervitin, the brand name that Meth was originally sold under.
That’s so yesterday. Now we use modafinil!
Legal meth? Sign me up!
The Nazi army used a lot of drugs: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29429893-blitzed
As we know, you should always fight a land war in Asia.
Ya know, what with global warming this might actually work.
