Didn’t we learn as children that stereotypes are bad and hurtful? Like why is this one an acceptable thing to lump all men together under the same group? The rhetoric rarely makes a distinction. It lazily doors not differentiate the different problem groups within that and stops at blanket statements that cover more people who aren’t the issues than are.
When you treat an entire gender as the enemy, stop being surprised when the young men are increasingly not acting like allies.
The power of rhetoric being forgotten is probably my chief criticism of the “purity test” wing of the left. Perfect being enemy of the good is very lost on people who seem not to want to acknowledge that even things they don’t like might have nuance.
I don’t think that the original tweet is really getting at stereotypes, but rather pointing out how frustrating it must be to not know who’s going to be a scumbag and who is not.
It’s not all men, most certainly, yet chauvinism counties to be (an increasing problem). One of the (very make dominated) places I worked had to put up signs that read looking versus leering: know the difference. I’m male, and I most certainly get the frustration after hearing more than a few first hand accounts about how women are routinely mistreated.
The original tweet is a response to people who are annoyed at being stereotyped. I get it. I have daughters I wish didn’t have to worry about this shit. But I also think we’re not addressing the problem the right way. It’s actually making the problem worse and isolating people enough that they fall to the sway of fascist propaganda.
If you take this same tweet and swap out men with [your minority racial/religious/gender group of your choice] it’ll probably get you banned in most communities here. But it’s about men (generalized) so it is for some reason allowed.
If you take this same tweet and swap out men with [your minority racial/religious/gender group of your choice] it’ll probably get you banned in most communities here. But it’s about men (generalized) so it is for some reason allowed.
“If you take criticism of aggressors and swap it out to criticize their victims instead, it pisses people off.”
No shit, Sherlock! That’s because aggressors are different than victims.
Is black man an aggressor or a victim?
Fuck off with your bad-faith ‘gotcha’ question.
You arguement has no logical foundation
You determine if the subject is a victim or the aggressor depending on what narrative you shilling at that time.
This is disingenuous post modern subjectivist bullshit
Cheers ;)
You determine if the subject is a victim or the aggressor depending on what narrative you shilling at that time.
TIL that understanding context is “shilling for a narrative.” 🙄
You know what’s really “disingenuous post modern subjectivist bullshit?” Pretending that victims become aggressors just because they act in their own self-defense. And that’s what the “not all men” whiners in this thread are doing.
Bad faith is applying the same bad rhetoric/logic to two groups and act like it’s perfectly fine and reasonable in one instance but really awful in the other. Especially if one group is literally a subset of the other. It’s not a “gotcha”, it’s an attempt to make you realize what you’re doing. Prejudice is bad, no exceptions.
deleted by creator
Like, I really understand where this is coming and I see why it’s that way. But I’m also really tired of being seen as a threat just because my way home seems to have some overlap. How do I react to make clear I’m not interested in rape, violence, stalking, whatever? I just want to get home to my dogs, there’s no need to prepare your keys to gouge my eyes out.
In all seriousness, what are men supposed to do with this besides feel bad?
Or is that the point?
what are men supposed to do with this besides feel bad?
Speak up when you see other men being abusive jerks. Use peer pressure to improve the behavior instead of excusing it.
what are men supposed to do with this besides feel bad?
Be aware. I am a large, semi-muscular male, if I am walking down the street and there is a woman by herself I will slow down and give her space or cross to the other side of the road. It really doesn’t take much.
If it’s not about you then don’t worry about it
For some of us, like certain spans of the autistic spectrum, that really isn’t a simple ask.
Because we do worry. We do feel empathy. We can’t help but feel like we’re still being lumped in.
We are already so paranoid from a lifetime of being blamed for every little deviation that it’s just more of the same.
“Uhhh, yes ALL MEN, why would you say not all men?”
“Uh not all of them obviously, I don’t mean the good ones. If you thought I was targeting you when I said all men are bad, threats to innocent people, and need to be kept out of public spaces and valuable positions. Obviously you are a bad person.”
That’s the same mentality trump voters have
Not getting mad when someone feels threatened by you is a pretty good start.
Constantly being treated like a bad guy, no matter what you do or how hard you try gets wearing. Right or wrong, it makes some men apathetic.
Either I look really non-threatening, or I’m just oblivious, because I’ve never noticed this. Probably a bit of both.
I’m a bigger guy, about 6’3" and about 230 lbs, so I get that I look intimidating some times. But I’ve honestly just walked past a woman and smiled at them and get a nasty look. I go out of my way to put out a happy and positive image and still sometimes get looked at like I’m some threat.
It’s tiring and honestly at some point you just stop caring. I stop smiling and reassuring everyone smaller than me to make them feel better, because what’s the point. I’ve become jaded.
If I’m going to be treated like a bad guy NO MATTER WHAT I ACTUALLY DO, I might as well be a fucking bad guy. Don’t do the crime if you…are going to do the time anyway?
“Women made me evil”
Yeah, and the Republicans made Canada evil.
Women have treated me in such a way that I’m not longer willing to try considering myself to be on their side.
Why would you believe a position that involves hating an entire gender is at all justified
“We treat all men like rapists because what if one actually is?”
“We treat all women like they’re going to falsely accuse you of rape because what if one actually does?”
“How can you be that evil?”
Ditto: I literally take pubic transit to work every single day and every single time I hop off I hop off with these 2 other ladies, and they always pretend to check their bag so that I walk ahead of them and they can see me.
I totally understand why they do that but it still is just dehumanizing to me, specially after literal years of getting off at the same stop.
If it’s the same two women every day then you could say hello and introduce yourself?
I think it would be weird to introduce myself to them, here in Canada you do not really talk to other people on the bus except maybe if youre going to another city and have literally nothing else to do
Also, what sort of monster wants to have a conversation with strangers on the morning commute? I’d rather not talk to anyone til at least mid afternoon.
I get where the replier is coming from but 100% where wi live if you chat with strangers on the bus you are being a monster.
Run up to them, and announce that you don’t intend to harm them and then ask where they live so you can safely escort them home.
This constant promotion of the sense of fear is one of the biggest ways we destroy any sense of local community.
But isn’t that also true with snakes? All of the times that I’ve stumbled across copperheads or rattlesnakes, they’ve just wanted to do their thing, and go on their way. They didn’t want to bite me. And 99.999% of the time, as long as you back off, the snake isn’t going to do anything.
…Except there’s that .001% of the time when a snake is going to chase someone, and attack them. And that makes everyone terrified of all snakes, because they never know which one is going to be that .001%.
It’s understandable, but it’s not fair, and yeah, it sucks to have people think you’re a threat when you’re trying hard not to be.
… there’s no need to prepare your keys to gouge my eyes out.
When I see women do this around me, I feel a little glad for them that they don’t need to do this and a little sad they don’t (and really can’t) know that they don’t need to do this.
I understand feeling hurt that someone might be afraid of me, but that gets erased when I exercise a little empathy for that person who is afraid.
Just avoid looking at anyone for longer than a second or two, but don’t try to look like you are avoiding looking at anyone. If in close proximity, acknowledge their existence and then focus on something else. If they start conversing, reciprocate but do not try to keep the conversation going if it trails off. If they don’t appear to open to a conversation and you are in close proximity, a small nod to indicate you noticed them and then changing your focus is a really good way to indicate you noticed them, but are not interested in interacting with them.
This really puts victims at ease. I mean strangers. Yeah, strangers.
Seriously though, just existing in the same space and not forcing interaction does put people at ease. Being overly friendly or acting like you are trying to avoid noticing their existence is suspicious for good reasons.
Me: exist without an extensive list of precautions.
Women: oh no!But to be honest, I’ve stopped looking at people at all because this costs me so much energy and at some time I just gave up. If this makes me look like a threat then I’m sorry.
It isn’t an extensive list, I just explained it with examples to avoid being too vague. It is just two things:
- Don’t focus too much or actively ignore other people.
- Mind your own business unless they start a conversation and don’t force it to continue.
Worrying too much about how others see you to the point that you are uncomfortable will make others uncomfortable. If you can be comfortable with yourself others will be more likely to feel comfortable around you.
Don’t focus too much or actively ignore other people.
AUDHD: “Let’s create a huge problem where none needs to exist, ok?”
Honestly my being an introvert with ADHD makes noticing people but not paying too much attention easy because I’m thinking about something else and am not looking for a conversation anyway! Threads like this and talking to women I know in person about what they find creepy is how I found out it is the least threatening way to act. Just got lucky tbh.
I’m an introvert as in focused internally on my own thoughts. I don’t have social anxiety and am comfortable talking to strangers if they start the conversation.
So I have to run through a check list for every single encounter I have just to not be treated like an animal. I can’t just exist and go about my life? I mean, I don’t see this helping the problem.
So I have to run through a check list for every single encounter I have just to not be treated like an animal. I can’t just exist and go about my life?
That’s what women apparently have to do to avoid being treated like meat. They can’t “just exist and go about [their lives],” so why do you think you should be entitled to?
If you don’t like it, help fix the root of the problem instead of bitching about your false victimhood.
Who says they can’t? They should be able to.
Here’s a crazy idea, instead of making men suffer because women suffer, we just stop.
Well your last sentence really shows you don’t care. Let’s see how this works. If you don’t like women getting treated like meat help fix the root of the problem instead of bitching about your false victimhood. Am I doing it right? It’s this how we help each other fix problems?
Here’s a crazy idea, instead of making men suffer because women suffer, we just stop.
Of course! Women, if a strange man approaches you just say “no thank you.” Legally they cannot assault you, and it is socially unacceptable for them to do so.
Problem solved!
Here’s a crazy idea, instead of making men suffer because women suffer, we just stop.
Okay, so how are you, personally gonna make people stop?
Or are you just going to do nothing (except attack the “uppity” women who are complaining about it) and consider it to be not your problem? 'Cause the result of that is women continuing to suffer while men enjoy privilege. It sure sounds like that’s what you actually want.
Let’s see how this works. If you don’t like women getting treated like meat help fix the root of the problem instead of bitching about your false victimhood. Am I doing it right? It’s this how we help each other fix problems?
Assuming you understand that “the root of the problem” is male aggression, yes! As I wrote a minute ago in another comment:
…the real answer is “actively work to stop other people from treating people like shit,” and even more specifically, “understand who the aggressors and victims are so you don’t make the problem worse by attacking people who are just trying to defend themselves.”
If us non-sexist/predatory men don’t want to be lumped in with the assholes, it’s our obligation to actively ally with women to stop the assholes. It doesn’t fucking matter if it’s “fair” or not; that’s just how the world works.
Or are you just going to do nothing (except attack the “uppity” women who are complaining about it) and consider it to be not your problem?
Ok.
Never once did I do this. I’ve been saying, over and over, that everyone should be treated like a human. All I can do is be the change I want to see.
You then just go on to blame men for everything. Men are the problem. Women being treated poorly, men’s fault. Men being treated poorly, men’s fault.
So women never do anything wrong and it’s all men’s fault. And I need to magically fix the whole problem or shut up and deal with being treated poorly.
You are a toxic person. You are dishonest, putting words in my mouth. You are the reason why people don’t take feminism seriously. You’re more interested in bashing men than trying to solve anything.
I’m done. I’m not going to waste my time without someone who can’t have a conversation without sarcastic attacks and lying about my actions and stances. Get blocked troll.
Take a moment and think about the consequences here for women vs the consequences for men.
Women: at risk of sexual assault in a society that down plays it, victim blames, and often fails to bring justice to the purpitrator.
Men: at risk of women giving them dirty looks.
This is like complaining about needing to ask for someone to unlock something for you because “I’m not going to steal anything, why are you treating me like a criminal?”
Never once did I do this. I’ve been saying, over and over, that everyone should be treated like a human. All I can do is be the change I want to see.
No, that’s not all you can do. Namely, you can quit pretending that the bad behavior of other men isn’t your problem if you don’t want to be lumped in with them.
You then just go on to blame men for everything. Men are the problem. Women being treated poorly, men’s fault. Men being treated poorly, men’s fault.
Yeah, that’s because it unironically is. Because in a male-dominated society men have the power and women don’t. What part of privilege and power dynamics do you not understand?
You are a toxic person. You are dishonest, putting words in my mouth. You are the reason why people don’t take feminism seriously. You’re more interested in bashing men than trying to solve anything.
You’re the toxic one here. You’re trying to DARVO the situation to make men the victims, but we’re just not.
I’m done. I’m not going to waste my time without someone who can’t have a conversation without sarcastic attacks and lying about my actions and stances. Get blocked troll.
LOL, you’re just whining because you can’t deal with having your privilege challenged.
Is anyone treating you like an animal in real life, or are you taking online comments that are generalizations about some common behaviors personally?
A person proposed an issue, on how they’re treated and not knowing what to do. Your response was a check list to go through and things you have to do, but but too much, and don’t ignore certain people. Your solution to the problem is unreasonable, that’s what I’m saying.
I don’t understand what’s so hard to follow.
Is paying attention to whether you are staring too difficult?
Is being aware that initiating or dragging out conversations with women you don’t know often comes across as intimidating too difficult to understand?
The last two sentences is a summary and all that someone needs to remember, but would be too vague without the previous context. There isn’t a less complicated answer.
Is paying attention to whether you are staring too difficult?
Is being honest too difficult? There is no room to have a conversation here with how you’re presenting things. This isn’t just “don’t stare” and you presenting it as such is arguing in bad faith. What was said, incase you somehow forgot what you yourself wrote was
Just avoid looking at anyone for longer than a second or two, but don’t try to look like you are avoiding looking at anyone. If in close proximity, acknowledge their existence and then focus on something else. If they start conversing, reciprocate but do not try to keep the conversation going if it trails off. If they don’t appear to open to a conversation and you are in close proximity, a small nod to indicate you noticed them and then changing your focus is a really good way to indicate you noticed them, but are not interested in interacting with them.
Man, seems like it’s more than just not staring to me. You actually call out " don’t try to look like you are avoiding looking at anyone" which is the opposite of staring. So you need to look at them, but not too much, just the magical right amount that you should know.
Is being aware that initiating or dragging out conversations with women you don’t know often comes across as intimidating too difficult to understand?
Nah, but I should be able to just keep to myself and not have a conversation without being treated like a predator for it. Again, you’re being extremely dishonest in how you frame things. You wrote the whole list of things you think people should do and now you act like “it’s just two simple things” ignoring what you wrote. Hell, I’d think these two message were written by two different people they’re so disconnected.
There isn’t a less complicated answer.
JFC. You waffle so often I don’t think you even know what you mean. " Is paying attention to whether you are staring too difficult?" also “it’s a complicated answer.” So why did you frame it like it was just two simple things when you know it’s a complex answer? Because you’re being dishonest.
This shouldn’t be a complex answer. The answer should be “don’t treat people like shit without knowing them.” That should be the answer. Not a list of magical rules every man has to follow just to make sure they get treated like a human.
Nah, but I should be able to just keep to myself and not have a conversation without being treated like a predator for it.
Oh no! Society is judging you unfairly because of your outward appearance? Gee, that almost sounds like the flip side of what the women are complaining about. Sucks, don’t it?
The answer should be “don’t treat people like shit without knowing them.” That should be the answer.
That’s not going to work until everybody does it, which means the real answer is “actively work to stop other people from treating people like shit,” and even more specifically, “understand who the aggressors and victims are so you don’t make the problem worse by attacking people who are just trying to defend themselves.”
Man, seems like it’s more than just not staring to me. You actually call out " don’t try to look like you are avoiding looking at anyone" which is the opposite of staring. So you need to look at them, but not too much, just the magical right amount that you should know.
Ah yes, the magical right amount of: a second or two
Nah, but I should be able to just keep to myself and not have a conversation without being treated like a predator for it.
Good news, you can! That follows the recommendation to not initiate a conversation. Hell, if they happen to start one you aren’t obligated to participate!
Again, you’re being extremely dishonest in how you frame things.
No, I’m speaking from experience.
JFC. You waffle so often I don’t think you even know what you mean. " Is paying attention to whether you are staring too difficult?" also “it’s a complicated answer.” So why did you frame it like it was just two simple things when you know it’s a complex answer? Because you’re being dishonest.
lol
The answer should be “don’t treat people like shit without knowing them.”
What do you mean by not treating people like shit? Please explain without any examples, because that would make it complicated and dishonest.
You say that like a joke but that is unironically what I do. Am I an idiot?
The only joke part is calling them victims. All of the rest is honest advice and you are doing the right things.
deleted by creator
If its late at night and a woman is walking in front of you, lower your speed. Let them get some extra distance. Then its not so awkward for you going the same way either.
I’m going to disagree because then it seems like you are following them. Changing your behavior because they are present is paying a lot of attention to them.
Acknowledging them, maybe stating where you are going without asking where they are going, and passing at the same speed has been very successful in my experience. The worst reaction I ever received was “I don’t care where you are going” which means they were comfortable giving me grief. The best reaction, which has happened a few times over the years, was a response that they were going the same way and asking to walk with me.
deleted by creator
I generally walk faster then other people, so that’ll be a hard one. I get really irritated at work when people won’t get the fuck out of the walkway.
Yikes - no, not at all.
If it’s late, separate yourself from anyone else that might be a threat to you or your safety. Don’t encroach on peoples’ personal bubbles. Be aware of someone encroaching upon your own.
Walk swiftly, with a purpose and destination in mind. Be aware. If you notice that you’re inadvertently following someone after a while (it doesn’t matter what their gender is), consider an alternate route, or find somewhere to divert for a period of time — as a courtesy. It’s not going to become some new form of societal expectation.
Expecting everyone in the world to behave in some specific way that you personally believe is asinine. You cannot control what other people are going to do, you can only control your reactions.
But counterpoint; why do you care what other people feel around you? The best response to women scared you’re going to rape them is to not rape them.
Anything past that is your own insecurity and need for emotional validation. Sure, you could devote time and energy into being an activist in whatever forms you want, but some strange lady you don’t know is still going to cut across the sidewalk when they see you approaching. AND YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. DEAL WITH IT.
Men “overcompensating” for this valid fear is what’s driving movements of really stupid, shitty men who like to roleplay stories on reddit how they had the cops called on them for hanging out near a playground. We don’t need to do this. Make the world better, make your emotional state better. Don’t worry what other people feel or think, you will never be broadly loved by everyone, or even broadly accepted by everyone. You’ll be lucky if you have several people in your ENTIRE LIFE who trust you. That’s the sticks. Sorry kid.
edit: i stand by it, and the screaming “sexism!” outrage only further validates my belief that you’re all living in a fantasy world online where you think someone is coming. Where you think things are going to change.
NOBODY IS COMING. You have to adjust your own thinking and feeling about the world if you’re going to survive it. It gets so much worse guys, these little issues with women thinking you’re bad? You will wish one day that was the worst issue you ever had to juggle over in your head, if you can get past it sooner than later you will save yourself and your loved-ones a lot of heartache as you have your inevitable meltdown we all have eventually.
Bad take, you’re dismissing society’s effect on the psyche of many men by saying these things
I’m also empowering the men who do need to hear this. Nothing is black and white, I accept that my message my make some people uncomfortable and that’s not my problem honestly. As you get older you realize that truth is something most people dance around and avoid. All of us. And you’re just going to burn yourself to the ground trying to reconcile these things you just can’t fucking change, but keep telling yourself lies that the world will change for you.
Nobody is coming. You need to deal with pain and let it go so you can live a fulfilling life with other people. You are the ONLY one who can make that happen.
Here’s everyone’s daily reminder that, in the US at least, 40% of rapists are women, and fully half of rape victims are men.
That’d work until you happen to get a reptile enthusiast on the show that can recognize the species, at which point you just have a show of a guy completely missing the point whilst nerding out over snakes.
I would watch that show. 😉
Not a reptile enthusiast, but knowledgeable enough to know a few things about them.
A well fed snake, hell most snakes (not all, some constrictors you don’t want to fuck with) won’t see a human as food, and won’t attack unless provoked. Don’t sneak up on a snake, don’t step on a snake, don’t harass a snake and it won’t give 2 fucks about your presence.
A venomous snake usually (there’s always an exception) has a “neck”, if you can see where it’s head ends and it’s body begins it’s more likely venomous than it’s danger noodle looking counterpart.
There are a lot of exceptions. Most of them, as it happens.
Vipers have that “neck” and a wider head than their bodies. Elapids typically don’t, and can be extremely venomous. In fact, the most deadly venomous snakes in the world are elapids including cobras, taipans, and black mambas.
Tl;dr: Rarely wise to step on snek.
it’s not only unwise to step on snakes, it’s also rude. which is worse
that rule has so many exceptions that it’s better to assume they are all dangerous
Count me in!
I would like to nerd out over snakes please
I understand the problem people have with men and more specifically toxic masculinity, but this gender wars bullshit only serves to further separate people. What’s the purpose of saying “men are rapists” or “men are violent”? It’s fine in the context of venting/talking with people facing similar problems, but because it entirely misses the sociological causes, it can cause people come to incorrect conclusions like “kill all men” or “all men are inherently bad because…” which essentialises their gender.
Men aren’t inherently bad. It’s patriarchy and toxic masculinity that you should be upset at - two sides of the same coin, really.
men aren’t inherently bad… Etc.
Looks like you understand the intent of the original tweet.
Not all men - but some men - and we (other men) need to start calling our the Tater-tots and the like
Why not say that instead of using needlessly divisive blanket statements?
On the other hand, calling out random assholes is a good way to get punched in the face, especially as a man. People aren’t grossly misbehaving because they accidentally forgot their manners at home that evening.
Sure. After all the big religions start weeding out shitty members at every single level. Youd get rid of a lot of rapists that way.
Reminds me of when Donald Trump Jr. compared Syrian refugees to a bowl of M&Ms with some of them poisoned. Same argument, same mindset.
There’s no progressive form of sexism
Except calling people incels for disagreeing with you
Except calling people incels for disagreeing with you
Sounds like something an incel would say.
Better than an orangutan fucking an onion.
Love is love
Honestly these comments are giving me hope that people are being sensible.
Too often in leftists spaces the conversation is dominated by the loudest voices taking the most extreme black and white position. Which just pushes makes the culture war nonsense worse.
So we’re fixing the division along gender lines by becoming… more divided?
Feels like the insinuation here is that, as a woman, it’s acceptable to base your personality on men as long as you believe all men base their personalities on hating women.
Maybe just accept that humans are complicated and nuanced and you can’t judge an entire gender based on the actions of the worst members of that gender.
I’m going to ignore the most heinous aspects of this and just say, I’d love to be introduced to a variety of venomous and non-venomous snakes and would likely find it to be a pretty cool experience. Snakes are neat and the venomous ones are often beautiful and fascinating.
I’m with you.
One might try learning a little bit about snakes before being introduced to them. I’d probably do that. I wouldn’t want to be around a bunch of snakes and not have at least an idea of how to differentiate a poisonous snake from a friendly, non harmful snake.
If I were to assume that all of the snakes are bad or going to hurt me, I’d sure be a real dummy. There’s so much information available out there and as an adult I’m able to use that info to stay safe.
Even better that I’ll be introduced to snakes and that I wont be walking out into the jungle alone, without knowledge, agitating the leglesss wildlife. Should I infer that there’s going to be an expert there too? Makes it sound pretty cool.
Have some empathy for the large amount of regular dudes that wouldn’t hurt a fly but constantly get lobbed in with rapists and pedos.
It’s pretty easy to tell the difference between venomous and non-venomous snakes.
Wait how? That sounds useful to know.
Square or angular heads generally mean they’re venomous. Rounded heads mean non-venomous.
That doesn’t mean non-venomous is safe. They can still bite and could transfer a bacteria. If you don’t know for sure, just keep your distance.
I would like to point out the “generaly” here, I still would trust it more as a what is DEFINITLY venomous, not what is safe
and this is why women go with the bear instead of the men
The venomous ones are female? /S
I think the point is it is one species of snake that all looks the same yet some are venomous and others are not.
For example. What if some rattle snakes were not venomous but others, that looked exactly the same, were.
The point is is that it’s a bad analogy to support a shitty world view.
Guess we should fear all snakes then! Or all sharks! That hasn’t lead to extreme fear based reactions where entire populations suffered because of fear due to a portion of the population being potentially dangerous.
The point about not knowing which one might be dangerous is a good point, but example is terrible. Use unsafe mechanical equipment or something instead.
Dudes will queue to use unsafe mechanical equipment, while telling you “hold my beer”.
Set that beer on the unsafe mechanical equipment you damn amateurs!
Divide ans conquer
That’s snakist.
I think the point is that people who say (shout) “Not All Men” are usually frustratingly insensitive and the thought of throwing them into a snake pit is fun. We know it’s not all men, we aren’t stupid, but we also know that even 1% would be one percent too many to feel safe alone with a stranger (and, unfortunately, statistics suggest harassment is certainly more than 1%!).
Well, most people aren’t that stupid. There’s a few who are, but I don’t think they’d be posting here, lol.
That said, reading the comments, I get why some are offended even though being male is the privileged class in this comparison (after all, I don’t feel afraid to walk home at 1am). Men are fucked by the patriarchy, told to repress their emotions, degrade people who break from masculinity, and so forth. But instead of saying “you’re being sexist against men,” please try to think of the systemic problems that led to that X% of assholes who make it unsafe for a woman (or POC, LGBTQ, etc) to walk alone on a street in America.
after all, I don’t feel afraid to walk home at 1am
That is not because you are part of a “class”. It might be your fully personal thing, it depends on your previous experiences, it depends on where you live or go (and this can also be an expression of being in a privileged social class), etc.
Depending on where I go, I do not feel safe walking alone all the time. I do not consider being sexually assaulted among the possibilities, but instead perhaps being mugged, or be bothered by someone looking for trouble or wanting to feel “alpha male” (as someone who grew up in rough neighborhoods, this is way too common during teen years).
I really don’t understand where this idea that males have the privilege of going outside without ever worrying about anything comes from. I have seen it multiple times in discussions around this topic.
There can be multiple factors, we call it intersectionality. You’re feeling unsafe because of social class or nationality or another factor. That does not mean you do not benefit from being male in a world ultimately built around men. That’s why people use the term privilege, since you have at least one advantage (others could include health, straightness, etc). And fortunately it’s less of an advantage today than it was a hundred years ago.
And that’s not to say life is perfect under that category-- I literally just mentioned some men’s issues. I’m just not exactly worried about someone stalking or kidnapping me over it.
You’re feeling unsafe because of social class or nationality or another factor.
Not in this case. I just do not feel safe because crime exists, and I can become a victim roughly as much as anybody else (probably slightly less than an elder person, in some cases for example). Some other people might have additional worries (like being attacked for racial motives), of course.
That does not mean you do not benefit from being male in a world ultimately built around men.
Which is something I have never claimed. What I challenged is the view that such privilege materializes in being able to roam free and fearless everywhere and whenever.
I’m just not exactly worried about someone stalking or kidnapping me over it.
Of course, there might be a qualitative difference in which worries I have vs someone else, but the original comment suggested “not worrying”, which I find it absolutely unrealistic.
