A wise friend once said, “the best boobs are the ones you can touch.”
Nah, I don’t like my own boobs
I don’t like them either. Unless…
give 'em to me, mine are too little
I wish it were possible to trade boobs. I’m quite fond of mine, but they do get in the way when I’m sleeping sometimes. Imagine if we could have community boobs, where we could trade boobs at will: “Hey Ann, do you still have the party boobs? I’m going shopping for date clothes later so I need them”.
It sounds absurd, but the more I think about it, the more I think “why the hell haven’t I read any cyberpunk fiction that does this?”, because this would totes be as thing.
Sleeping sideways (despite being the most comfy position usually) ironically is harder. Owie!
The best boobs are free. The second-best boobs are cold. Wait, is that beer?
Either that or you are necrophiliac
I legitimately love this stupid analogy.
Works for penises too.
A penis made of pennies
Does it work for ass pennies?
Just count them before you put them in so you are sure you get them all out
Now this is life advice!
My penis is made of rai stones. You can look but don’t touch.
The best tits are the ones someone decides to share with you.
That is true imo. Don’t want an evil woman with big tiddies as a gf
Ok but what if evil not as in the racist cat-kicker way but as in hot DC wizard of darkness way?
There is a reason “don’t stick your dick in crazy” is a thing, though.
The Great Philosopher then hands Anon $100 in Monopoly Money.
Anon Replies: “These bills are fake”
The philosopher shrugs: “My analogies aren’t perfect”
Monopoly money
Ah I see, the great philosopher is Eastern European
The farther east you go the more enlightened as well
Is that like anime Nasreddin Hoca with a gay twist that is apparently quite popular on the internet now, or is this something else?
Idk what your talking about
is this like a hideo kojima video game, or is this something else
Ohhh, Im not sure i found it on another lemmy post and felt it kinda fits lol
Well, monopoly money does have value technically, it’s just that it would be a ton of bills
How many monopoly bills would it take for a gas station to fill up my 7 gallon tank?
Depends on how much the owner likes monopoly or wants to start selling monopoly money.
But if you bundled it with the rest of the game, I’d imagine they’d be willing to trade about 5 or 7 bundles. Of course, it has to be the complete bundle, because the monopoly game without the money is valued far less than with the official money
ACAB: All cup-sizes are beautiful
BITCH: Boobs In Tight Clothes Hypnotize
“tits is tits.” - Flandish
$100 in coins is way more valuable than bills. $100 in pennies is worth about $280 in scrap copper these days
Even though they’re mostly zinc now?
You can sell them to Ea-nasir.
Apparently the calculator i used refers only to pre-1982 pennies. But those are still plentiful and can be found without issue
However, you’re not legally allowed to smelt pennies into scrap. So, the point still stands.
These are my breasts, there are many like them, but these ones are mine
Without me, my breasts are nothing, without my breasts, I am nothing.
Nah, without your breasts, you have value. Don’t let cancer destroy your self-image.
A friend was taking the piss out of NFTs once and I, not knowing what an NFT was at the time, misheard them as saying “non-fungible titties”. We, all of us being very gay, found this hilarious because our experience of seeing breasts had shown us that breasts are indeed non-fungible.
I like smaller because I can fit more of them in my mouth. So far my record is still 1.
How much do you need in your mouth to consider it to be 2?
Because I squeezed my gf’s tiddies together and got both nipples in my mouth.
Might not have had anything more in my mouth, but she certainly didn’t mind 👍
so you would take the coins
I could fit so many coins in my mouth.
I bet i could fit a $100 bill in my mouth. Hell, i could fit two.
The bills have greater value because you can carry more of them in less space and the savings in space can be used to pick up other objects.
The coins have greater value because you can put them in a sock and mug people, then get more money
Combine both with gold coins or, even more valuable, rhodium bars.
What about gold-plated latinum?
Fake: Anon is literate/erudite
Gay: Anon has to ask what he is supposed to find attractive in the opposite sex
My impression is that breast size matters primarily for competing with other women. It’s like muscle size (past a certain point) for men.
I don’t know my man, personally I like me some extra large milkers
You should definitely know your man.
With big tits, you can also star in a eugenics-toting commercial like Sydney Sweeney
She doesn’t have that big breasts
Anon realized they didn’t have the required $100 consulting fee either in bills or in coins, so no obvious conclusions can be drawn from the conversation.
I think I could find more ways to play with $100 in coins…
