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MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.today to Greentext@sh.itjust.works · 1 month ago

Anon is Bri’ish

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Anon is Bri’ish

lemmy.today

MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.today to Greentext@sh.itjust.works · 1 month ago
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  • NOT_RICK@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Cunt.

    • zaphod@sopuli.xyz
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      1 month ago

      You got a loicence for that?

      • otacon239@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        • pohart@programming.dev
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          1 month ago

          You can. But it’s not required.

          • thegreatloofa@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

            The fuck it isn’t

        • doingthestuff@lemy.lol
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          1 month ago

          But you need a license to do it in the UK. Unless you’re a refugee, then none of the regular standards apply.

          • ddplf@szmer.info
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            1 month ago

            Unless you’re a refugee, then none of the regular standards apply.

            Fuck off.

      • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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          1 month ago

          Seems someone isn’t a Brit.

    • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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      U wot m8?

    • clif@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Beat me to it (by 24+ hours) ya cunt.

      • NOT_RICK@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        You’re one late cunt

  • pi3r8@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    The irony of this image being censored .

    • crimeschneck∈🇩🇪⊂🇪🇺@sopuli.xyz
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      1 month ago

      You have to verify your age to see the uncensored image.

      • Socsa@sh.itjust.works
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        1 month ago

        drinks verification can

        • Billegh@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          It’s an older meme, sir. But it checks out. We were going to let it pass.

      • Darren@sopuli.xyz
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        1 month ago

        Brit here. I can see the uncensored image through a VPN. For which I have a licence, obviously.

    • sbv@sh.itjust.works
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      1 month ago

      No swearing license

    • fibojoly@sh.itjust.works
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      Especially since cunt isn’t even a swearword in English.

      • breecher@sh.itjust.works
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        1 month ago

        It is definitely an American who censored it.

        • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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          1 month ago

          It’s an odd one because it wasn’t even a word in common usage until about 50 years ago, so I don’t understand where the Americans got their attitude from since it appears to have been entirely self-generated.

          • pohart@programming.dev
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            1 month ago

            From Wikipedia

            It goes back to at least the year 1230, and was excluded from the OED from the 18th century until 1960. So it wasn’t just Americans.

      • pi3r8@lemmy.world
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        30 days ago

        It’s practically punctuation here in Scotland.

      • WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        My wife just told me otherwise.

      • bampop@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        You must be thinking of Australian

    • maxwells_daemon@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      But think of the children

    • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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      It was already like this when I found it.

      • MajesticTechie@feddit.uk
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        1 month ago

        • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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          1 month ago

          Thx m8

  • moakley@lemmy.world
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    Emphatically uncensored:

    • WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world
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      Oi! You got a permit for that uncensored meme?

      • Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world
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        Yes, but You have to take a photo of your ID and share it with a random website to prove you are old enough to read the 18+ word Cunt.

      • bampop@lemmy.world
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        The first was offensive enough. Quite sure I saw a “bl##dy” and maybe even a “b##tard” in there as well. I’m shocked, shocked I tell you. I’m going to write to my MP and demand to be protected from this kind of thing

    • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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      Was that necessary?

      • BipolarSilence@lemmy.cafe
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        Who in the actual fuck censors a 4Chan post

        A 4CHAN POST

      • untorquer@lemmy.world
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        Writing cunt in Union Jack filled text? This is British cultural heritage!

        • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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          Okay then

          • untorquer@lemmy.world
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            I don’t know why you’re taking flak though. Very silly.

          • Darren@sopuli.xyz
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            1 month ago

            You got a loicence for that capitulation, m8?!

      • olenko@feddit.nl
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        1 month ago

        I literally couldn’t make out the word

        • moakley@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          You’re right. I adjusted it.

      • moakley@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        It’s my new hobby.

      • ObjectivityIncarnate@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        To make that joke? No.

        To make the joke, having already decided to make it, as funny as possible? Yes.

      • BipolarSilence@lemmy.cafe
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        1 month ago

        deleted by creator

        • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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          It wasn’t me, I swear.

          https://lemmy.today/comment/18397391

  • lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org
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    I can’t believe the TV license is real. I just can’t. I guess it helps makes good tv tho

    • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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      The TV license is definitely real. All the others are fake though (I believe).

      https://www.gov.uk/find-licences/tv-licence

      • Bobby Turkalino@lemmy.yachts
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        A TV Licence costs £174.50

        Wtf is this in addition to paying for cable/satellite?

        • Jade@programming.dev
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          Nope. You can just plug your TV into the aerial to get BBC + free channels. Netflix and whatever costs extra tho

          • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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            I’m surprised that according to the website, they actually let you get away without a license if you only use commercial streaming services and don’t watch any BBC content. In Germany, that excuse doesn’t fly. As long as your device has the capacity to receive aerial broadcast, you have to pay, whether you watch it or not is irrelevant.

            • Knuschberkeks@leminal.space
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              afaik in Germany you even have to pay if you have no device that to receive anything. Every household has ro pay wirth a few exeptions.

              • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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                Pretty sure not owning ANY broadcast receiving devices is the only way to get around it, but that’s extremely difficult to accomplish. Keep in mind radio counts as well (though you can be eligible for a reduced rate if you only have radio access and no TV), including the one in your car, your stereo, or your alarm clock. Owning a TV with no antenna hooked up does not count either, since it’s trivial to do so, and you could just be hiding an antenna in your attic or your basement.

                Basically, the only way to legally skirt the fee is to live under a bridge or in a forest without any electronic devices besides a flash lamp.

            • Shadowedcross@sh.itjust.works
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              In theory, but the BBC has been known to harass people into paying, even pressuring you into letting them into your house even though they don’t have the right to do so.

          • Bobby Turkalino@lemmy.yachts
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            I mean we have free over the air TV here in the states too, just don’t need a loicense for it

            • Darren@sopuli.xyz
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              Yes, and it’s ad-riddled nonsense.

              The BBC runs no adverts, save for trailers of its own stuff.

              • Bobby Turkalino@lemmy.yachts
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                Yeah and even cable/satellite, paid services, are ad-riddled lol. Always kills me how the older generations criticize us for being financially irresponsible when they’re paying to watch a service that’s 20-25% ads

        • Deceptichum@quokk.au
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          Do people elsewhere in the world pay for “cable” tv? I know we had a version here in Australia but it was so rare, no one really used it.

          • Bobby Turkalino@lemmy.yachts
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            It was pretty big over here in the US, and still is with Gen X and older. Nowadays, pretty much the only reasons to get it are if you’re a sports fan or enjoy brainrot 24/7 news networks

        • lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org
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          Brexit really was a mistake

          • Log in | Sign up@lemmy.world
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            Very much so indeed, but I’m not sure why you mentioned it?

      • MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de
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        The long knife prohibition is real.

        • Log in | Sign up@lemmy.world
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          True, but there’s no such thing as a knife licence.

          • MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de
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            29 days ago

            I mean, yes, but I was more referencing that there was exactly one other thing of any substance besides the TV thing in this greentext.

      • Mac@mander.xyz
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        1 month ago

        (i believe)

        Best joke in this thread

        • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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          Thanks for noticing me, Senpai.

    • funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works
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      Americans fund public TV and radio infrastructure through taxes, Brits just make it opt-out if you meet certain criteria by labeling it as a license.

      You tell me which has more “freedom.”

      • lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org
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        The one where I don’t have to upload my I.D. to watch porn, BABY! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅

        • lewis6991@lemmy.world
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          I’ll just leave this here https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/porn-site-verification-states

          • lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org
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            Sometimes I forget how much freedoms we have in Washington State. The only thing is strict gun laws, but it’s mostly background checks and limited magazine sizes

        • funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works
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          well I live in Georgia (US state) who brought it in before the UK did.

    • rtxn@lemmy.world
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      The early idea was to support the state-owned and state-operated channels through taxes. Then the channels got privatized and now the taxes are going straight into the pockets of The Brexit Bunch. I mean why would they voluntarily cut off a money source that people were already paying.

      • UncleGrandPa@lemmy.world
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        In San Diego they had a toll bridge… once it was paid for they kept the toll. When asked why they were still charging a toll… They said the toll booths still cost money to run. They had to be sued for the toll to stop

        • nialv7@lemmy.world
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          Having to charge toll because they need money to run the toll booths is the most Kafkaesque thing I have heard in a while.

    • schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de
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      This is/was a thing in many other European countries too.

      In Austria it used to be (not long ago, a few years at most) that only people who owned a TV needed to pay it, not anymore, now every household has to pay it, so it is basically a household tax.

  • markovs_gun@lemmy.world
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    I’m really glad I didn’t have to see the word cunt here that would have really ruined my day

  • Denjin@feddit.uk
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    Pretty accurate, all my butter knives are unregistered

    • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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      Yes, constable. This bloke right here.

      • ulterno@programming.dev
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        What if I had an unregistered fork?
        What if 3 out of 4 of its prongs were broken?

  • maxwells_daemon@lemmy.world
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    Oi, you got yer internet licence, mate? Can’t be crackin’ these jokes if you ain’t a proper grown-up, innit?

  • Agent641@lemmy.world
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    Armed units show up and arrest the stabbed bobby for not having a dying license

    • Avicenna@lemmy.world
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      30 days ago

      “Wait wait wait, I am not dead!”

      “Do you have a bleeding licence then?”

      “Fuck me…”

  • cub Gucci@lemmy.today
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    This is not the UK Alan Turing died for

    • gmtom@lemmy.world
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      Alan didnt die for any UK. He dies because of fascist homophic UK government drove him to suicide.

      • cub Gucci@lemmy.today
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        Yay! You’ve caught the essence of the joke I tried to make

        • Schmuppes@lemmy.today
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          Don’t worry, I got it.

          • cub Gucci@lemmy.today
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            🫂

      • Flax@feddit.uk
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        His suicide is actually kind of disputed. (I’m being pedantic, not ruling it out entirely)

        Either way, the way he was treated by the government was completely unacceptable and immoral

    • porksnort@slrpnk.net
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      Much too soon! (but totally a good one, i ill be stealing this one)

  • gmtom@lemmy.world
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    One of 3 jokes.

    Its either either :

    “loicence”

    Haha no spices

    Or “bad teeth”

    • Zron@lemmy.world
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      My favorite to poke at is treating anything with a blade on it like it’s a deadly weapon with no other purpose.

      Can’t have a locking pocket knife.

      There was a group that wanted to ban pointed kitchen knives.

      Had a dude tell me he doesn’t carry an axe or saw when camping because it “might scare passersby”

      Photos of police “hauls” that show screw drivers and hammers as “deadly weapons that don’t belong on the streets”

      So it’s at least 4 jokes.

      • shalafi@lemmy.world
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        And here I am walking around the woods with a big-ass machete.

    • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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      You forgot “bo’oh ‘o wa’er”

      • treesquid@lemmy.world
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        Theah’s no “r” in wo’uh, bruv

        • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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          Beg your pardon. Bo’oh o’ wa’ah

      • Hadriscus@jlai.lu
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        I think this is Igbo

    • Darkenfolk@sh.itjust.works
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      Also, sailing away because of their ugly wives and terrible food.

    • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca
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      Don’t forget the bizarre “r” into everything like drawring, the lawr, etc.

      • ibelieveinthehousehippo@lemmy.ca
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        That’s called an intrusive R

      • LotrOrc@lemmy.world
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        Thats more American in my experience That and completely dropping entire parts of words for absolutely no reason I can understand

        Ex. Comfortable somehow becomes comftable. Drawer becomes drawr. Wednesday becomes wensday

        • ObjectivityIncarnate@lemmy.world
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          People (I’m in the US) are pretty much always astonished to realize, when I ask them to say the word “important”, that they more often than not will pronounce zero of the T’s in the word, when I point out that they didn’t.

          It always really stuck out to me as a kid when Shawnee Smith (probably most famous for the Saw movies now), on the old sitcom Becker, would always enunciate the T’s in that word—that’s what made me realize how weird it was that everyone wasn’t saying it that way, lol.

        • bampop@lemmy.world
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          There’s a lot of commonality there.

          Example:

          https://youtu.be/x-xTttimcNk

        • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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          And hhherbs, because there’s a fucking H in it!

        • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca
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          I’ve only ever heard that “added r” thing when watching BBC stuff. Can you link me to some Americans saying drawring instead of drawing, for example?

          • waterSticksToMyBalls@lemmy.world
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            The added r shows up in American Midland dialect. Wash becomes warsh, etc

            • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca
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              Interesting, thanks.

          • LotrOrc@lemmy.world
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            Huh thats really interesting ive never heard that on BBC

            Its all over the place in New England especially in MA

            • Alaik@lemmy.zip
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              I didnt know people from Boston could pronounce Rs at any point, let alone add more. “Pahk the cah.”

            • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca
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              1 month ago

              Hm, I’ll try and find some examples. It just fascinates me how things like language evolve chaotically, like tiny changes that somehow then become the new equilibrium point.

      • ObjectivityIncarnate@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Apparently, there’s some sort of linguistic exchange program within British English where T’s are traded out for R’s, and then a persistent logistics issue causes the R’s to be distributed incorrectly.

        • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca
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          1 month ago

          I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking about this important issue… I wonder what Susie Dent thinks of it.

    • GeneralEmergency@lemmy.world
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      30 days ago

      Haha no spices

      That joke comes from yanks who are used to drowning their food in sugar syrup to mask the taste of underage mexican day labourer blood.

    • squaresinger@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Or “bad teeth”

      I lived in the UK for a while and what shocked me most was the ads for tooth care products.

      Where I’m from they are like “Fresh breath all day long” or “Keeps your teeth white”. In the UK they were like “Mouth wash can prevent tooth loss”.

  • Chev@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Who is Bobby?

    • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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      1 month ago

      British colloquial term for constable

      • WhyJiffie@sh.itjust.works
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        1 month ago

        is that the same as gendarme?

    • Denjin@feddit.uk
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      1 month ago

      A rozzer

      • tazeycrazy@feddit.uk
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        1 month ago

        A Peeler

    • ohulancutash@feddit.uk
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      1 month ago

      Robert Peel, the founder of modern policing and the devisor of policing by consent.

    • GraniteM@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Your uncle.

    • Nosavingthrow@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      5-0

    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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      1 month ago

      fuzz

  • QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works
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    1 month ago

    I say this as an American. The UK is not ran by adults

    • breecher@sh.itjust.works
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      1 month ago

      You would indeed be an expert on the subject.

      • QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works
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        1 month ago

        Thing is, the UK seems to be ran by literal children whereas USA at least has edgy teenagers

  • Aeao@lemmy.world
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    30 days ago

    My morning as a Texan

    Knock on the door… I open the door with my 1911 cocked locked and ready to rock.

    It’s a sheriff with his own drawn. He goes to shoot my dog but the dog pulls a beretta. We laugh at the dog for his immigrant gun.

    Sheriff tells me there’s trouble at the watering hole so I ride out to grab bubba.

    I shoot my horse because I was pretty sure it hurt its leg later and grab one of the many spares roaming around…

    Head to the watering hole to see an Italian man in a native headdress…

    Shoot him because it was my right as an American

    It was my Pa.

  • TootSweet@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Not like 'murca where you have to register your photo ID in order to fap.

    • jonman364@sh.itjust.works
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      1 month ago

      Huh? It’s that way in some states but wasn’t it recently made that way in the entire UK?

      • QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works
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        1 month ago

        In my state they tried that but everyone ignored the law because they didn’t include a way to enforce it.

        Pornhub and only pornhub is blocked but if I gave a shit I’d use a VPN

        • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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          It’s the same in the UK. The politicians bitch and moan about it but they’re not actually going to do anything about VPN because that would be far too complicated to work out and enforce, and it would force them to admit that the law doesn’t work, and they don’t want to draw attention to that.

          • QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works
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            I know e621 was blocked for awhile but then they realized there was literally no punishment for ignoring the law lol

    • Avicenna@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      that is coming to the UK and the EU soon. It is almost like these people are saying “while Trump is doing some outrageous shit, lets slip in a couple quickies ourselves shall we?”

      • Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Yeah I think a lot of people don’t realise how significant these changes are going to be. It’s a big increment of the surveillance state. The fuckin Labour party are making a big lurch to the right, the Palestine Action thing is another sign of the times.

        • Avicenna@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          The labour party turned out to be a great stepping ladder for shitface Nigel. What an absolute joke and a shame on its name.

      • Log in | Sign up@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        (It has already come in the UK.)

    • breecher@sh.itjust.works
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      1 month ago

      And also censor swearwords on the internet.

    • Flax@feddit.uk
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      1 month ago

      This is the case in the UK

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    1 month ago

    Fake: British cops don’t carry guns

    Gay: Op is sleeping with dudes

    • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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      Fellas, is it gay if you’re male and you sleep by yourself?

      • ignoble_stigmas@sh.itjust.works
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        1 month ago

        Only if you like it

        • idriss@lemmy.ml
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          1 month ago

          deleted by creator

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