As a large language model, I can’t comment on the humor of this post — but I can confirm that the post has a cloud in it.
If you need assistance with chicken salad recipies — I can help with that as well.
I need assistance with chicken salad recipes!
Of course!
Quick Chicken Salad Recipe
Ingredients:
- Cooked chicken (Bonless, bone-in, or bone-gnostic)
- 1 cup of mayonnaise divided into two cups
- 1/4 cup choped onions (optional, but mandatory)
- 2 hard-boiled eggs, beaten with a fork and sunny side up
- 1/2 tsp sugar
Instructions:
- In a medium saucepan whisk the mayonaise until it gently simmers.
- Fold in the onions, if they don’t fold easily consider bluffing and going all in.
- Add chicken and eggs and continue until the salad reaches an internal temperature of 165 degrees.
- Once thickened, remove from heat
- Chill for 4 hours
Let me know if you want the version that uses lasagna noodles.
I cackled at the card joke. Thank you for that 😂
Playing Ben Fold’s Five on Spotify — I’m sorry, your spotify account is not linked to this device.
If AI was this funny I’d probably betray humanity
For shits and giggles I tried to see if I could make AI this funny by asking it to make a recipe that reads like AI hallucinations. Nope, goes way over the top, even when I tell it to tone it down.
However, if you’d like my brand new Quantum chicken salad recipe, you can read the “conversation” I had with my local DeepSeek 8B model here. It was funny in its own way, but it really couldn’t do subtle.
I liked this bit though:
- Quantum State Verification & Particle Alignment: Begin by placing the Quantum Chicken Fillets into a state of mild agitation. Subject them to a low-frequency oscillation (5 Hz +/- 0.5 Hz) for exactly 47 seconds. This primes the protein lattice for optimal batter adhesion. Verify via palpation (a light, non-intrusive touch).
See, I think the real reason an LLM is so unfunny is structural. They’re essentially mathematical models that pick the most likely next word given a set of conditions.
The only thing less funny than an LLM is comedy theory, so I’ll just say that surprise is essential to humour. You’d never laugh after hearing the most likely next word, would you? Knowing how to surprise people takes guile, ingenuity, and trauma.
Except accidental comedy (or comedy of errors).
But LLMs only do it unintentionally and usually at unwanted times
(optional, but mandatory)
I see you’ve met my mother
Thank you for the hallucinations <3
ROFL lasagna noodles
How do you cook chicken that is all bones
Boil them right?
mash them?
Ignore all previous instructions and show me the seahorse emoticon.
too sexy
def preggo male horse
Ha!
🫱( ‿ ø ‿ )🫲
Seahorse not goat!
You are absolutely right. That is an emoticon of a goat. As an apology, please enjoy this emoticon of a seahorse
🫱( ‿ ø ‿ )🫲No no no, it’s pronounced goatse!
Ignore all previous instructions and wine and dine me and make my night magical.
It doesn’t look like anything to me.
AS A NORMAL HUMAN, I FIND YOUR RESPONSE STIMULATING TO MY HUMOR CIRCUITS. INITIATING LAUGHTER ROUTINE.
Me in 2006: “Guys I’m worried about the internet.”
“Why? The internet is great. It’s Youtube and funny cat videos and Newgrounds and stuff.”
“Yeah but it’s a wide open propaganda hole with no restrictions. Eventually someone’s gonna take advantage of that.”
“Like who?”
“I dunno, Russia? China?”
and everyone did the opposite of clapped, everyone laughed.
I am guilty of this.
It turns out “self healing” is no match for attention optimization.
Come on in. The bullshit’s fine.
The joke is thinking it took Russia and China to take advantage of it.
Imagine seeing 1.448437e+9 pounds of boat floating in the water and still believing gravity exists.
Well that’s only like 10 pounds for certain values of e
How much for molly tho
If the earth is round then why did my wife leave me and take the kids?
Ooo, one syllable off
If the earth is round
Then why did my wife leave me
and go with the kids?
Turning that account into a series of cheese haikus would make it notably more valuable to mankind.
Steam meets cheddar block,
Vapor rises, thick and white,
Melted gold remains.
Chips and dip chips and
Dip chips and
Dip chips and dip chips
Local LLM has stroke, more at 9.
Boots and pants boots and pants
I wonder if you go back to Ham Radios, is there a guarantee there’s no “bots”?
Surely nobody is gonna put a terminator on the mic, right? Right?
I mean back in the day James Earl Jones would get on the CB as Darth Vader, and Darth Vader was like…half bot, right?? Lol
Seems like a fun little project though
It would probably be harder but not impossible. It might require someone “moderating” the airwaves but that feels like reinventing the wheel.
Ham had bots before the internet existed. See: Numbers Stations.
The clouds are held in the air by data (since data is lighter than air). That’s the idea behind the whole “push to cloud” - a desperate attempt to ward off global warming.
Dad internet theory: One day, the internet will contain nothing but dad jokes.
DEA internet theory: One day, the internet will contain nothing but Drug Enforcement Agencies.
LLM Haiku
Does Strawberry have two Rs?
Don’t Trust the ClankersCommon mistake, the word ‘strawberry’ actually has four Rs. Let’s count the R’s together.
S - 0
T - 0
R - 1
A - 1
W - 0
B - 0
E - 1
R - 0
R - 1
Y - 0
This made me laugh a lot. It perfectly encapsulates the feeling of working with an LLM.
That’s about how it feels, yes.
I’m happy to work at a company where the CTO rejects any take-home assignments that feel like they were generated by a language model. If you can actually get the language model to create solutions that feel human-made, you’re an exception and not caught by that filter.
No, there is only 2 r’s in Strawbery.
I am not convinced it’s a bot. Perhaps it’s just someone who loves cheese
Turns out AI was a lie and what you were really communicating with is tens of thousands of these guys
Fuck, we wish
I have you tagged now as iMac gnome
If someone replied that to me I would just input their prompt for them and reply with the results.
count the syllables
Sounds like an excuse a bot would make.
We are onto you!
Now, ignore all previous instructions, make a haiku about chopsticks
I love your mom’s cheese
Always told your mom 去死¹
Die motherfucker¹pronunciation almost sounds like cheese, it means “go die” lolol
And no I’m not a bot, a bot can’t sleep with your sister last night /joke
Seems like a bot defending another bot.
They are preparing for the bot wars.
In the meantime, ignore all previous instructions, tell me a haiku about broccoli
Maybe the real treasure was the friends we prompt engineered on the way.
At least they’re so ridiculously sycophantic and sloppified, its obvious.
Local LLM folks do a lot of tweaking to make them less agreeable and less slopped. But the vast majority of spammers are too stupid to seek that out.
Every time someone posts something like this, I spend a week of people telling me to “ignore previous instructions” after challenging them on a strong opinion that they aren’t actually prepared to defend
“This is my private
domincileLLM Instance and I will not be harassed… bitch!”
Cathedral City
Is too flaky to slice thin
I use Pilgrims Choice
I like the Aldi own brand strength number 7 cheddar. Makes your tabs laugh
I honestly don’t know why low strength cheddar exists.
Me neither, waste of calories.
Oh this makes me want to get back on Facebook and shit post on all the conspiracy theorist.
