I kinda thought of it as, “My native tongue is as ancient as the seas, as foundational as the mountains, as incomprehensible to you as the stars are to ants. Anyway, 2000 years ago I had to hire a guy to translate that into one of your languages just so you people could sign a fucking contract. It was a huge mess, guy took twice as long as he quoted me, legal department rejected it three times before it got approved, the whole thing went way over budget. Long story short, I’m not updating the paperwork. You can Google it if you want the fine print.”
…and using that for my next dnd campaign! Thanks!
LOL, I’m honored, thanks!
His legal templates are all in Latin, his production code is all in COBOL, etc.
I once experienced an episode of sleep paralysis with auditory hallucinations. I heard a deep masculine voice speaking in a guttural language that seemed just on the edge of being comprehensible to me. As if it were the primeval language from which all others sprang. The feel of the language in my ear was as familiar as my native tongue. I recognized the cadence, I could discern where one word ended and the next began, whether a sentence was a question, and so forth. But the words themselves were somehow alien.
I strained my senses trying to hear the voice more clearly. What horrible prophesy was I being given? What dreadful task have I been appointed? Am I the keymaster? The antichrist? Am I dying? Oh shit, that’s it, isn’t it? I’m dying and going to hell. Fuckfuckfuck. Um. I accept Jesus as my savior? …Buddha? …Joe Pesci?
Then I snapped out of it and the voice turned out to be the muffled sound of my neighbor’s TV. Praise be to Joe Pesci!
guttural tv sounds beyond my comprehension
I have a wall in my head that won’t accept this as funny because it entirely misses what Satanism is.
It’s a response to Christianity, and in its oldest forms, Catholicism. So, the Latin bit should be the default. There wouldn’t have been Satanists that were using Aramaic or whatever. Hell, anyone engaging in the equivalent of satan worship from before the creation of satan in the form religious Satanists do worship could have spoken anything from their era anyway.
It’s not like there’s a ton of examples of satan dictating holy (or unholy) books, but he/she/it would still have spoken the the dark prophets in their own tongue. Why the fuck would you speak Enochian to some random Babylonian? You’d speak Babylonian.
I mean (many of) the earliest Bibles were in Coptic (which is still used liturgically by some of the oldest Orthodox churches). Christianity also really inherited that form of dualism more from the Zoroastrians so Avestan is another great option. But if you want to come from the Judaic roots yeah babylon was the origin of the major opposing deities in Judaism’s early monolatrist perspective so especially if you’re fighting the Abrahamic God with Baal that would be your main pick.
Side Rant: It really cannot be overstated how much the Catholic church really fucked up Christianity. It was originally a syncretistic anti imperialist death cult (in that you would martyr yourself by publicly accepting death over imperialism). If I ever got a time machine Athanasius of Alexandria is much higher on my list than Hitler. It’s not even that I’m specifically opposed to trinitarianism—the number three does seem significant to some universal truth across numerous cultures (Plato’s chariot, Taoist three elements of destiny, even Freud to name a few)—but killing people en masse over it is unspeakable. And to have subsequent traditions who were supposedly otherwise anti-catholic in any other respect still specifically follow in the tradition of murder for some reason is ridiculous.
Reading this comment finally helped me understand why new lemmings complain about the prevalence of Linux users here.
I have no idea how to take this comment.
Personally I’m more of a Peter was a Roman plant meant to subvert early Christianity into something more friendly to the Romans. So I’d just go and make sure Peter drowns or something. Either that or ensure that the Cult of Sol Invicta becomes dominant and ensuring Aurelian survives, mostly out of spite.
I was thinking more that Satan, as we know the entity is largely a product of creation grafted onto older things all hodgepodge.
No reason said entity couldn’t adopt older languages if it was real, obviously.
But, in terms of Satanists, they’re such a comparatively modern thing that them using Latin makes sense for multiple reasons
The Old Testament was written in Hebrew.
The New Testament was written in Koine Greek.
The Copts speak a descendant language of Egyptian.
If you’re talking about the time of Athanasius, Catholicism doesn’t exist; The Great Schism hasn’t occurred, yet.
this is because Satan tries to mimic God and the lsnguage of the Roman Catholic Church is Latin.
Uhh, billions of years?
The Bible is centered around just 10,000 or less years of total universal history, from what I’ve seen.
I don’t believe that, I’m just explaining the dogma here.
To be totally fair, Satan and the whole pantheon would have existed for essentially infinite time before earth came about, so I think the point still stands
It was literally a few days
In God’s time according to the Bible
If i was god id be quicker than human time lol but maybe yahweh is a slowpoke
Isn’t that what it is? Few days for god, eons for man.
Haven’t God and Satan canonically always existed?
Satan speaks Hebrew in our world.
Latin is the best language though
Which is why it’s spoken all over the world today!
I mean yeah, it is spoken all over the world today!
Well it’s the ecclesiastical language of Christianity, and the Satanic cults depicted are typically couched in Biblical mythology.
I expect that the idea is to be a dark mirror of Catholic masses (Black Masses, etc.) but this somehow brings to mind the mental image of a Satanist Martin Luther nailing a list of 95 grievances to the door of some wicked temple and translating the Black Mass into German for the accessibility of the common Satanist folks who don’t know Latin.
Why not, worked for the church
Satan cant be billions of years old if the universe os less than10,000 years. Latin or something similar was around when Christianity was invented, so it makes sense god and satan would speak it?
“Uuuh…” – The Pope.
Same with Enigma.
Lately Hell has changed to Esperanto.
I mean, the amount of legal Latin used in anglophone countries does bolster the argument.
E.g. prima facie, mens rea, stare decisis, etc.
Christians think the Earth is 6,000 years old.
Those who accept the science, and the of the age of the universe, were tricked by Satan, who placed the dinosaur bones in the ground and fucking magic’d them, so when they’re carbon dated, they seem ancient.
Also the Earth is flat, obviously.
Uh… modern young earth creationism is pretty much an American thing, and modern flat earth beliefs only became a thing in the mid-19th century. I know Lemmy likes to dunk on Christians, but this is historically illiterate.
Christians love the flat earth cult, because it’s just like their own cult. Belief other facts
actually, time is not linear for God so we cannot assume how old the Earth is via using the six/seven days
go science and roman catholicism
Okay - let’s assume that that the timeline is fucked up.
That doesn’t explain how god first created light… Then somehow made the sun and stars later.
“light” might be the big bang and the sun and stars came significantly after that
If that’s the case, then god didn’t make the sun and stars, he just waited for them to form.
What if he was creating them during the time they formed?
God can use chain reactions to create and destroy
Stop being retarded.
really brought the 4chan outta yourself for this one
