As the title suggests, blow a job interviewer in the first 30 seconds will blow a job interview in 30 seconds

Spit on my palm and go in for the handshake

Ask to borrow a pen. Throw it at the interviewer’s head. Ask to borrow a pen…

“The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races” --Homer Simpson (OK the quote was about getting out of jury duty but I think it fits here)

How much for getting hired ?

Sit down, look at the picture of the (child aged) daughter of the person interviewing you, and ask if she’s single.

Actually as someone who does sometimes do interviews: acting like an asshole with a big ego will wreck your chances big time.

Blow the interviewer

I’m autistic, trans and chronically ill.

Do you have gluten free food in the cafeteria? I can’t have more than 4 people around me at any given time. Where’s the toilet for non gendered people?

Should just about do it I suppose.

“All professional decisions I make come down to a simple question: what would Marx do”

So, how many holidays are there and how much are you offering, if I decide I’m interested?

“Thanks for your time, but this job isn’t for me. I wish you good luck finding your candidate, though.”

“Here’s my card. If you wouldn’t mind signing it and giving it back to me, we just need 30% to get a vote on forming a union.”

Fart into my cupped hand while making (and not breaking eye contact) and proceed to “throw” it in the interviewers general direction. (Extra points if you can do this with a straight face)

Instructions unclear, dyslexia made me blow the job interviewer.