No wonder she’s single.
“Sorry, from across the bar I couldn’t see how ugly your personality was. It all makes sense now.”
Guy’s a creepo, gal puts people down unnecessarily. Both will unwillingly die alone.
Hey Anon, you did great!
In this situation, as in many in life, Judo rules apply: Go with the punch, don’t push against it.
This was a win, you just need to recognize it as that.- you proved yourself that you have lots of courage
- you were not a creep when talking to a stranger
- you dodged a bullet with that woman.
- you tried something new. (might not have worked out at the first try, but can’t really expect to be that lucky)
keep it up, don’t lose heart, you’ll find your match.
Great comment, cold approaching in any situation can be intimidating but at the end of the day the worst that can happen is they say “no”. And then you can go home and get high or drunk or whatever and not care. Each rejection hurts a little less each time.
I mean, better solution is to go hang with your friends and commiserate. Which, imo, is always something dating advice seems to avoid talking about. Dating is hard. Having a solid social support system to pick you back up again is crucial.
For real, I can probably count on my hands the number of times I tried cold approaches like that in my life. Especially with a pack of girls. Super duper ballsy of Anon. Much respect.
I mean this is probably fake ragebait for the 4chan crowd
Is it? I’ve known girls like this
Not to say this is a woman’s issue, men can be assholes too, bit this is just the risk of approaching human beings
Pro tip: when people are with their friends they might feel the need to show off how cool they are or something, promoting responses like these. In my personal experiences, when in groups, kids and young adults tend to behave much more like an asshole whereas when they’re alone all of the sudden they behave like themselves.
If this is a true story, had he approached buyer alone, she might still have rejected him but have not been such a bitch about it
Bad advice. Approaching a woman along lowers your chances dramatically. If so meme wants to date you, they will say yes with their friends around.
You’re thinking high school.
I don’t know why someone would think this is just a story. Probably 66% of men have had similar experiences, been told that while the woman may be in the market, they aren’t in the market for YOU. Guys like us get the message very early on that we are NOT what women are looking for. We have to make up for it in either earning potential or humor, or desperation by their female counterparts.
I’ve known girls like this
Sure. Rich, gorgeous, and constantly looking for someone who reminds them of their father.
If this is a true story, had he approached buyer alone
It’s not, he didn’t, and the real killer lead in is to tell the woman you accept bitcoin as payment.
deleted by creator
Super rude on her part, but it’s also extremely intrusive, rude, and weird to walk up to a total stranger you’ve never even talked to and ask her to dinner solely because you’ve been sitting alone at the bar for three hours overhearing her complain to her friends about being single. I’m not saying it can’t work if you’re physically like an 8–10/10, but that’s effectively all she has to go on besides this obviously weird thing you’re doing.
“I’m not desperate” could totally be referring to what he did rather than how he looks. This is George Costanza shit.
Um, this is the point of going on a date? To get to know someone new? She shouldn’t need anything else to go on until after they’ve spent some time getting to know each other? A first date is not a lifetime commitment.
How else do you get a date with someone, if not by asking them?
The point of going on a date is getting to know somebody better because you’re interested in them. Why on Earth would this woman be interested in this weirdo who she knows nothing about except, at most, that he sat alone at a bar for three hours straight, listened to her conversation, and interrupted her to ask her to dinner on the premise that she needs saving from being single specifically by him?
Haaaaa the new generations… ya know once upon a times this was standard procedure right? Not so long ago even. Sometimes you didn’t even talk before furiously kissing someone on the dance floor and discussions came waaaaaay later on if they ever came.
This still happens, but you also still need to be suave about it, which anon was not.
“Hey, I heard you talking about wanting to date. I’ve been feeling the same way and wanted to see if I could get us a couple drinks?”
That’s still bad because this is still pretty weird, but just be a bit casual about it instead of: “M’lady most fine, I heard of your plight and wish to save you. Please allow me take you out to dinner next week.” She’s with her friends, sure, but it sounds like she’s been bringing down their night by complaining, so they probably wouldn’t mind if she (somehow) said “yes”. And the suggestion itself involves way less commitment than planning a date.
You get the difference though, right? Like, it’s one thing if you’re going out to a place known for mingling and you hook up with someone. It is a completely different thing if you’re at a place to hang out with friends and a complete stranger saunters up to say he’s been eavesdropping on you.
Nhaaaaa when going to bars or youth places was still a thing it was exactly like that… you went out with them to smoke, asked / give some lighter and voila. We had to rely on so many tricks when tinder was not a thing I suspect you don’t realise yourself :-)
you went out with them to smoke, asked / give some lighter and voila.
So you didn’t just barge into their group conversation. Cause that would be weird right?
You should also give up on this whole “wizend internet elder” schtick. I was also going to bars and youth places before Tinder, and behaviour like that of the 4Chan guy would definitely be called out as strange and unwelcome.
Same same really. And the lighter was one of the least obnoxious trick really.
Can’t help with the personality though, that’s just who I am. Feel free to click on « block » if it hurts.
The point of a date is not to get to know someone new. It’s to get to know someone romantically. Some people want to know a little bit about someone before they are ready to decide if that’s something they’re interested in.
It’s not always “that” you ask someone. Sometimes its when you ask… or how, or what you say.
Talking to a stranger is extremely rude?
How are you supposed to find a partner if you’re not allowed to talk to strangers?
No, walking up to and interrupting a group at a bar after listening to them for three hours, telling them you’ve been listening, then asking one of them to dinner next week like they need saving by you is extremely rude. No one’s saying you aren’t allowed to talk to strangers; you just shouldn’t be this goddamn weird and intrusive about it.
“How are you supposed to find a partner?”
Get to know the strangers first in a capacity whose end goal isn’t a date, then ask them out when you know them somewhat? Or ask a stranger out at a place and in a context where it’s expected they might be open to it? Anyway, I’m going to go ask out random women on the street, because it’s not rude; I mean fuck, man, how else can you find a partner in this economy?
He wasn’t listening to the conversation for 3 hours. He was seated there for 3 hours, and then he overheard a part of a conversation.
Overhearing is not the same as actively listening. Talking in public is public. They are at a bar, which is an extremely social place, it is normal for strangers to join conversations.
And what place and context is more appropriate than a bar for asking someone out? It has been the de facto place exactly for that purpose for millenia.
The phrasing heavily implies that they worked up their nerve over the course of three hours and that this was a recurring conversation throughout that time. And I’m not assuming they were attentively listening; what’s problematic is that they leveraged (unsuccessfully) what they overheard to swoop in like a creepy vulture and try to pick this woman up (under the guise of doing her a favor) while she was just trying to have a nice time with her friends.
Idk why you are choosing to imagine anon like that. But that is a pretty normal and socially acceptable behaviour in a bar
You are really putting this woman on a pedestal.
Nah but for real if some random stranger at a bar overheard me saying I’m single and then came up to me and my friends like that I would be a little creeped out too.
I wouldn’t be mean about it, but I definitely wouldn’t say yes.
This is definitely one of those ‘creepy if ugly’ moments. If he was a handsome guy, it would be romantic and has almost definitely happened in a million Hallmark movies.
Listening in on conversations is creepy, no matter how good-looking a person is.
And that stuff happens in movies doesn’t mean it isn’t creepy in real-life.
Not really. If you were discussing with somebody about some terminal illness you were raising money for and somebody approached and said: “Sorry, but I overheard what you said and I’d love to donate, if that’s okay” that would not be creepy in the slightest.
There is a difference between ‘overhearing’ and ‘purposefully spying’
Well, OP wasn’t donating money, was he?
The scenario you brought up would be creepy too, but people tend to value money over the slight discomfort of creepiness.
In what world is it creepy to overhear somebody saying something in a public place? Have you ever been in a social situation before?
In what world is it not creepy to butt into some strangers’ personal conversation after overhearing details that were clearly not addressed to you?
Have you ever been in a social situation before?
There is context and nuance to everything. If you think this situation is ALWAYS creepy then I’m afraid you are objectively incorrect.
Children walk up to each other on a playground and butt in and make friends happily. Why do you want us all to be boring robots that never interface?
If he was handsome it would still be creepy
“Hello, Human Resources??”
It’s not so much creepy if ugly, so much as creepy if not confident.
And the way to become confident in something is to do it a bunch of times.
Lesson being, it’s okay if someone thinks you’re creepy. You’re just in the process of developing a new skill.
Impossible. It’s the females!
*insert Skinner meme*
Not even if I was a two headed Brad Pitt with the body of the strongest Chris?
For sure and that’s alright. But at the same time pubs are called that because they are a public space, hence you usually don’t expect actual privacy and it’s what leads to moments of joy when things randomly fall into place. Could be creepy, could be magical. Anon gave it a try, failed his landing (asking a girl out was a bit much, he could have just offered a drink and joined in on the convo), but he shouldn’t feel so bad about it.
It sucks that he doesn’t have mates he can laugh about it with though. That’s the real tragedy to me.
Fake: anon approached a girl
Gay: anon was daydreaming for 3 hours about getting engaged
Thats why she cant find a man! Lesson here dont approach women that say “they cant find a man” there is a reason they cant find a man and you should believe her. What you did was courageous and this shouldn’t stop you from trying in the future.
Thats why she cant find a man!
I read about a guy on a website who just trolled bars for hours at a time, eavesdropping on every conversation between anyone he considered remotely attractive. At the slightest hint of desperation, he would run up to a table and announce “I am a single man! Please date me! I will feed you dinner and then we can be together!”
He is the most successful anon in history. Goes on dates every single day of his life. Little black book contains hundreds of phone numbers from women desperate for a second chance at him. But he doesn’t stop. One Date Only, that’s his policy. He’s just too much of a hot commodity to deprive the rest of the Femoid Race of his charms.
This is the real reason OP’s story is about a woman who is single.
Is he called Ataru Moroboshi by any chance? Xd
Lesson here: definitely take away life lessons from a greentext
Or she’s just unlucky. Or has some other understandable and solveable problem in her life. Lesson is, just approach anyone you find hot. If they reject you, that’s fine. If you find you don’t like them and reject them later, that’s fine too. Most people aren’t “bad”, and rejection isn’t bad either - it is simply the process by which people figure out who they are compatible with. It sure doesn’t feel good - but the one thing that is sure to stunt your progress in finding partners is avoiding things that are uncomfortable
That’s when you go “Oh Okay, I can see why your single” and walk away like a boss
Fake: Anon left the house
Gay: Anon was a girl this whole time
I can’t imagine why no one would want her with that shining personality
The comments on here make me glad I’m aromantic.
I misread that as aromatic and was quite confused.
Look, I might be a bit aromatic sometimes, but no, that’s not what I meant.
They reproduce by spreading spores like Rob Lowe’s character on The Orville
“Glad I smell good reading this”
Yeah. It turns out a bunch of tech obsessed nerds aren’t the most socially well adjusted.
Reddit is even better than this.
deleted by creator
I enjoy working and making things. I find being intellectually stimulated almost as satisfying as being happy or anything else. You have absolutely no idea how much of a super power being an aromatic asexual would be for me. I’d be unstoppable, lol.
I think I know what you’re getting at, I wouldn’t necessarily call myself asexual though, as I do watch… naughty things (I’m too lazy to look up rules, I’m not shy in that respect) I just waste a lot of time getting informed on politics instead, so no guarantees for more free time😉
That does make you on the asexual spectrum. You ARE asexual.
I would tend to agree, I’m just not really interested in discussion definitions and I think argueing I’m not aromantic is hard (except for my family of course).
Welcome to being Greysexual, my friend!
My wife identifies as this. It really suits them. They do experience sexual arousal, but it’s rare, though it’s not repulsive either.
Does that mean you get turned on by smelly stuff?
No that’s automatic. They mean antioxidant.
Seriously, you just learned why
It’s a greentext.
At a greentext commynity. Who would’ve thought
Now we know why she’s single
