I cringe every time I hear another guy refer to women like this

  • odium@programming.dev
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    2 months ago

    It’s fine if it’s consistent imo.

    Men and women - 👍

    Males and females - 👍

    Boys and girls - 👍

    Guys and gals - 👍

    Men and females - 👎

    Men and girls - 👎

    Men and chicks - 👎

    • pyre@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      males and females is still psychotic if you’re not specifically talking science like biology, statistics, etc. adjectives as nouns are rarely a good sign in general; it’s almost always derogative.

      also boys and girls would be fine except most people who use (or claim to use) boys do it in familiar sense only. they’d never call a 40 year old jacked man they don’t know a boy, but they’d easily call a grown ass woman they don’t know a girl. exceptions are some phrases like “big boy” or “my boy” in endearing sense but that’s not how “girl” is generally used, which is a substitute for “woman”.

      • BigPotato@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        A lot of prior military folks will use males and females just because that’s how it’s been drilled into them. Male and female latrines, not men and women’s bathrooms. Male and female barracks, not men and women’s dorms. Male and female standards, etc etc.

        • pyre@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          dehumanization is part of military. that’s not really an argument for it.

          • Sauerkraut@discuss.tchncs.de
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            2 months ago

            Is it not dehumanizing to call veterans psychotic? Seems a bit like kicking someone while they’re down. The military broke them enough, the last things veterans need is to be mocked, dehumanized and treated like creeps.

            • pyre@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              first of all, i didn’t call them psychotic. read it again.

              second of all, you literally say they’re broken. i don’t know what to tell you.

              and finally, fuck veterans, like I give a shit how they want to be treated. maybe they shouldn’t thought of that before they volunteered to kill or help kill as many brown kids as they can. unless they were drafted or something then they get a pass. sort of.

              • blackstampede@sh.itjust.works
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                2 months ago

                None of the veterans I know killed any brown kids. The people we shot were generally either shooting at us, or had just set off an IED with a car battery. Most of our interactions with kids involved someone getting in trouble for giving away MREs to the kids that would walk up to the vehicle.

                • pyre@lemmy.world
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                  2 months ago

                  wow #notallinvaders. i said kill or help kill. they fall into the second category. they still volunteered for unjust, illegal wars, unless you’re talking about WW2 or something… the US had no right to be in any foreign country in the last few decades.

            • LillyPip@lemmy.ca
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              2 months ago

              There’s a difference between the people who have served and the insane asylum they were subjected to. There are plenty of things that meat factory does to people that shouldn’t be replicated in society, and this is the least of them.

              • Shark_Ra_Thanos@lemmy.ml
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                2 months ago

                Those are not complete sentences or even a sort of expression of any coherent potential intent of expression. Go back to English class and fix your sentences, please.

      • Bob@feddit.nl
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        2 months ago

        adjectives as nouns are rarely a good sign in general

        I don’t think that’s true unless you mean within the context of referring to people or something, e.g. the blacks, the poors. But then stuff like “the rich” and “the unemployed” I don’t really take issue with.

        • pyre@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          yeah, you’re right but they’re two different cases. notice how when it’s right you don’t pluralize it with an -s because some adjectives have a form of a plural noun, so they don’t have a singular form: “a poor” or “a black” is just yikes. you can find words like “rich” as plural nouns apart from the adjective forms in the dictionary. you might find “female” and “black” as a noun for people too, but they should be marked offensive either directly or in usage notes.

          so that’s the distinction. “black” or “female” don’t exist as plural nouns like “the rich” or “the blessed”.

          interestingly enough there are exceptions. there is no plural noun “the gay” but “gays” usually isn’t offensive as a noun, but also “a gay” is weird and offensive. language is complicated.

          • Bob@feddit.nl
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            2 months ago

            I believe “the gays” used to be offensive, and I did notice that myself but it doesn’t make sense to met that that would be the distinction!

            • pyre@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              i just suggested it as a shorthand. the actual distinction is whether the word is generally used as a noun as well as adjective, and when it is, usually it’s used as a plural noun.

              it makes sense because plural nouns usually are a quick way to refer to a section of a population that share an aspect. but using an adjective as a singular noun has the connotation of reducing someone to that one aspect of them, which is the adjective. and so using an adjective as a noun with an -s pluralization implies there’s also a singular form which is usually offensive.

              language is fluid and it evolves, so nothing here is a hard rule and there will be exceptions, and things might change with time. this is mostly based on observation and convention.

              • Bob@feddit.nl
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                2 months ago

                I’m not convinced that there’s even a soft rule; I think it’s just a case of the one or the other way of doing it nebulously sticking, like how sometimes you form a noun with -ness and sometimes you do it with -hood. Which now I think about it is more or less what you’re saying, but I don’t think it’s done consciously at any rate.

                • pyre@lemmy.world
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                  2 months ago

                  language conventions are rarely conscious. they just happen. every now and then there’s a campaign for our against using certain words or phrases; sometimes they stick and sometimes they don’t. but those are conscious i guess. mostly though it just happens organically.

                  like a perfectly normal word becomes vulgar in time if enough people just say it a certain way. it’s not like people suddenly hold a meeting and decide this word is bad now. it just starts to feel like it after a while, so it eventually becomes so.

          • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            The gays is weird because like so much terminology referring to queer people it’s reclaimed. And as with all language reclaimed in or near living memory the offensive use persists. Just like how “the queer community” is neutral as is “my sister is queer”, but “fuck you queer” or “I ain’t no queer” both use the word in its unreclaimed state, so too can “the gays” go. With it I tend to be primed for someone who is either familiar with the queer community or to hear some horribly offensive shit.

            The thing is we got really good at reclaiming things in a way that I don’t know of any other group being as good at

            • pyre@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              yeah it depends i guess. saying “gays and lesbians” in passing is usually fine. but still, while you could say something like “this policy is discriminatory against gays” and not get much protest, the preferred use would still be “gay people”.

    • Kalysta@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      The ONLY time it’s fine is if it’s in a medical report or scientific paper. Written by actual doctors or scientists. And it is done to dehumanize the subject to make it easier for, say, a medical examiner to write a report without breaking down.

      Using male and female for people is inheritantly dehumanizing, and that’s only ok in very specific circumstances.

  • Mossy Feathers (She/They)@pawb.social
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    2 months ago

    I sometimes hear furries mess up and refer to women as “female humans” or something along those lines, but that’s mainly because furries usually think in “male/female” instead of “man/woman” (or at least all the ones I’ve met seem to). For an example, “Cat-woman” can be kinda ambiguous and (at least imo) sounds kinda odd since “woman” is usually exclusive to female humans. In this example, are we talking about a woman who’s obsessed with cats, a woman who is a cat (a female feline with human features), an anime cat girl (a woman with cat features), or a DC Comics character (a woman who dresses up like a cat)?

    Otherwise though, yeah. Yeah, especially, especially when someone refers to women as “females” as in “check out those females over there”. That’s creepy. Even furries would rather say something like, “check out those gals over there”, regardless of context.

    Edit: also, does this hypothetical person say “males” too, or is it “man/female”? “Man/female” is a massive red flag.

    • NekoRogue@slrpnk.net
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      2 months ago

      As a woman who is bothered by the “females” thing, “female humans” doesn’t sound bad to me. It’s because “female” is used as an adjective here. It’s the same reason “black women” sounds fine, but “blacks” sounds bad. It’s reducing someone to their gender only, as if they’re not humans, too. It feels otherimg.

      • deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz
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        2 months ago

        Thanks for writing that out. I’d never quite groked why it (and similar wording) sounded wrong: reducing a person to an adjective.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Yeah, it does bother me, but not for the same reason. It’s something I associate moderately with terf lingo. But it’s a yellow flag and not a red one

    • Godort@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      but that’s mainly because furries usually think in “male/female”

      I wonder if that’s because that’s how they’re tagged on e621, or if they’re tagged that way because furries already referred to them in those terms.

  • TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    During the whole Olympic controversy on the Algerian boxer, Imane Khelif, questioning her actual gender, someone was making mental gymnastics that she still has testerone level higher than “vanilla females”.

    Lol, vanilla females. That alone says a lot.

    • hydrospanner@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Not that we need to open this can of worms here, but it’s a pet peeve of mine that “vanilla” has become a term used to mean plain, boring, sheltered, standard, mediocre, underwhelming, basic, and uninteresting.

      Vanilla is an amazing flavor that comes from orchids that must be hand pollinated to cultivate at scale, and has a long and interesting history. It’s the second most valuable spice after saffron.

      Just feels wrong to use that as a synonym for bland and blah.

      • Tamo240@programming.dev
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        2 months ago

        IIRC the reason for this is because synthetic vanilla flavour was one of the first to be produced, so while actual vanilla is still quite valuable, it became the go-to ‘default’ flavour.

  • SaltyIceteaMaker@lemmy.ml
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    2 months ago

    Well depends on context i guess. Like saying “my women teacher” just doesn’t sound as good as “my female teacher”

  • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I agree with the post. It’s coded derogatory speech while being technically correct. Personally, I would go as far to say it’s a dog-whistle and is absolutely a flag, especially if it renders any speech clunky and labored, or side-steps a person’s gender transition status.

    Also, here’s something I’ve observed that may be relevant.

    IMO, most of the time people use gender when telling a story, it’s not relevant information in the first place. In light of recent events, public awareness, and politics, non-gendered speech (in English at least) is automatically the most inclusive way to go and it’s a good habit to develop. The exceptions here are where it’s information that supports the story, disambiguates complicated situations (e.g. talking about a drag persona), or where it’s gender affirming in some way (e.g. respecting pronoun preferences).

    I see this happen a lot, especially where woman/female is used as extra information when expressing anger, frustration, and disgust. For example, I hear “this woman cut me off in traffic” far more than “this man cut me off in traffic”, with “this person” or “a BMW driver” as a maybe-neutral-but-also-likely-male coded qualifier. To me, it suggests a kind of negative bias for gender, which may or may not be unconscious (depends on the person). It may seem like a small thing, but it’s freaking everywhere and it’s gotta stop.

    For the rare occasion where sex or gender supports the story, “my teacher, who is a woman, …” or “my teacher, (s)he…” does the job. Yeah, it’s is a bit tougher on the tongue, but you should only need to say it once for the whole telling.

    • NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Same goes for race. The number of times a story starts with “this black guy…” and the story has nothing to do with race is way too high. Especially from white people who just say “this guy” if the person was white. It just shows your implicit (or explicit) bias and that you think of someone differently because of the colour of their skin and you’re attempting to encode that feeling within your language.

    • vithigar@lemmy.ca
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      2 months ago

      with “this person” or “a BMW driver” as a maybe-neutral-but-also-likely-male coded qualifier.

      If this is “likely male coded” how exactly do you suggest referring to other drivers in a neutral way?

        • vithigar@lemmy.ca
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          2 months ago

          How are “this person” and “a BMW driver” likely male coded while “person” and “driver” are fine? It sounds to me like you’re just assuming negative intent in others, while your own use of the same words is fine because you know what you mean.

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I agree with most of what you said, but I think using male and female as adjectives is far better than the clunk. Additionally it can help break the whole people thinking of a trans woman as a “male woman” bs. (I have a whole rant about how the “sex and gender are different” thing is often used to ignore the biological realities of the effects of medical transition).

      But for the most part it’s smoother to say and can make the fact that you need to mention that you’re speaking about a woman less of a big deal. For example “My cousin, who is a woman, has been having a particularly difficult time finding a girlfriend in her rural town.” Compared to “My employee, a female engineer, is particularly diligent about making sure our products are comfortable for people of a variety of body sizes”

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      2 months ago

      My incel cousin refers to women as “chicks and babes”. Then if he sees an unattractive woman, refuses to call them anything.

      It’s really frustrating dealing with him because he constantly whines about his loneliness and isn’t aware how his small mindedness is causing people to bail on him.

    • Hagdos@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      It’s not even technically correct, you’d have to talk about female humans to be technically correct.

  • Maggoty@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    There’s vanishingly few places where the use of the word female is correct. The test is generally if the word male would also be correct and not weird there. If the speaker is talking about men and females then we have a problem.

    There’s also a couple exceptions where the misogynist language got assimilated but it’s so normal that you can’t tell just by their use of the word. Like the military talking about female soldiers. For example there is a need to distinguish between male and female body armor. But also they talk about the needs of soldiers and female soldiers without a hint of disparagement. It’s just how they make it clear there needs to be a second latrine ditch and the camp shower needs to have at least canvas walls. The only fix most of us can see for this is persistently referring to men as male soldiers too because women soldiers sounds weird and doesn’t solve the problem of default soldier vs qualifier soldier.

    • Techranger@infosec.pub
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      2 months ago

      Exactly. The use of “female” is clinical in that context. It’s meant to be sterile, emotionless, professional, and adequately descriptive.

    • AdrianTheFrog@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I would say as a general rule its fine when you aren’t talking about people, ex: female body armor, female frog, etc

    • Track_Shovel@slrpnk.netOP
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      2 months ago

      vanishingly few

      As it should be. Equality is crucial, and women’s rights generally pave the way for minorities. Uff. I hate that this is usually how it is, but look how far women have come since the turn of the 20th century - hell, even the 21st century

      • AgentOrangesicle@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Imagine getting fitted with body armor suited for a different body type and having to just deal with it when rounds are coming at you. Yeah, we need a new language to make sense of non-cis people in the military, but we shouldn’t sacrifice their lives because of it.

        I bet you’re in the same boat. In the interim, we use the language necessary to keep us alive and respect everyone in our crew in the process. But yeah, guys calling girls “females” outside of that is weird and definitely a red card for dating. That should be the brunt of our attention.

  • iAvicenna@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    If you want to only specify gender then that is the correct word to use. If someone wants to be derogative towards a certain group, the said person can twist the context of almost every known word so that it sounds rude and disrespectful. Does not mean everyone else should stop using that word in the correct context. I don’t know what else to say.

    • Nikko882@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      It’s equally, or more, correct to say “female/male people”. It’s just like “poor people” is ok, but “the poors” makes you sound like an asshat. Including “people” makes the difference.

  • Vilian@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago

    Urg, i get second hand embarrassment everytime i hear/read it, i’s disgusting lol