First they told us not to eat the yellow snow, now they’re telling us not to stick spring rolls up our poop chutes. It’s like doctors don’t want us to find any joy in our lives.
It’s because those doctors already have anal beads in their ass.
Bread 🥖
Well, I wasn’t going to before, but now I am wondering what hidden secrets they are keeping from us??
FLARED. BASE.
Hindsight is always 20/20.
I have so many questions about the train of thought that led to this… situation.
Doctors don’t know what you put in your but if you also shove an apple up there beforehand.
It’s the fried ones that are the problem: crispy = sharp edges = torn bowel = septic shock = dead.
The fresh ones with the squishy exterior should feel much more like a penis going into your ass. Choose the sauce carefully - your entire GI tract has receptors sensitive to spiciness.
If you want to push the spicy level but not have a visit from Satan’s eyeball, they make this great barrier ointment called Ilex. Just, uh, you have to be careful not to glue your butt cheeks closed to most folk put some Vaseline on afters. Who knows, maybe they’ve fixed that but i last used it regularly when I wanted to belong to the nuclear taco club but couldn’t get Thursdays off, it’s been a minute.
First they invented great barrier reef, now they make great barrier ointment. My God what horrors and highlights, the hubris of humankind.
Chaotic Good Karen.
Hey it’s Cheryl or Charlene or Carina or whatever…
It’s CRYS-TAL!
“RFK questions guidance on not putting spring rolls up your anus.”
I’m not watching him and his grandchildren do this on live TV…
Is that him or the worm talking?
Maybe the worm likes spring rolls.
If I insert the spring rolls into my ass, will I shit them out from my mouth?
If you put enough up there, sure.
You’d be like one of those PEZ dispensers.
I think there is only one way to find out…
Literally 1984
I missed that page.
DO NOT SHOVE SPRINGROLLS UP YOUR ASS
Well excuse me for being a good host during my digital rectal exam.
He didn’t complain about the tea kettle at least, that’s just being hospitable
Thank god I’m not a patient then ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
“Insert from other end”
Instructions unclear. Urethra is now also unclear.
THIS IS AMERICA, GOD DAMMIT, THE LIBERAL MARXIST GLOBALISTS ARE TRYING TO CONTROL HOW I EAT MY FOOD, GO TO HELL YOU COMMIE BASTARDS
